Day Twenty Five: Being Youthful

Scarf from Eileen Fisher

Every so often I like to add new routines to my life, or styles to my look, so that I move with the times and retain a youthful outlook, rather than hold rigidly onto everything I always thought was true.

Of course I don’t want to be younger as I am happy with my age.  There is a fine balance between acting too young and acting too old though.  I am trying not to get too fixed in my ways and thoughts as I age.  No-one wants hardening of the opinions!

A key to remaining youthful is to be flexible with one’s opinions and open to change.  I often come across something to this effect when I’m reading an article on an actress/model/celebrity/famous person of a certain age.

Here are some of my favourite ways to feel youthful:

Trying something different with your clothing like rolling up jeans.  Two small folds makes a world of difference to your look and the style is everywhere at the moment.  They have to be straight-ish jeans, you can’t roll boot-cut or flared jeans.  Keep them quite long, you don’t want them to mid-calf, more like on the ankle.

My usual thoughts on nail colour are bright or dark on toes, and pale pink or nothing on hands.  Wearing a bright colour on short nails is nice for a special occasion.  It feels young and fashiony.

Trying something different with makeup.  Going from emphasis on the eye and glossy neutral lips to a very lightly made-up eye, groomed brows and brighter lips.

Changing my food routine after reading something inspiring. I add things in like avocado with my lunch or reinstate having lemon juice in water first thing.  At the risk of sounding like a Joan Collins groupie (I mentioned her in yesterday’s post too), I read that she owes her wonderful complexion to avocados as she eats one every day.  So I do too now.

Wearing different scarves – rather than heavy silky squares or pashminas, I’ve been wearing fine cotton weaves/chiffon in prints or plain colours with short fringing.  The image above is not one of mine but reminiscent of the style.  They just feel more current.

See what music is popular and have a listen on YouTube to see if you like it enough to purchase.

Check out book lists like the New York Times bestsellers and choose something different to read.

Go out to see a movie rather than watch a dvd at home.  Every time I do this I think to myself how much fun it is to go out to a movie and then another six months goes by before I do it again.  I’m sure it must be about time for another outing.

And finally, don’t think or talk of myself as old.  It doesn’t matter what age you are, you will always be older than some (and younger than others).  I don’t want to be one of those people who say ‘well at my age what can you expect…’ or can’t face another birthday.  Um, how about celebrating the fact that we’re alive?

What’s your top tip on staying buoyant, fresh and full of life?

Day Twenty Four: Wonderful You

Image from Love Is Speed

Sometimes I do that terrible thing of comparing myself with others.  How helpful do you think all these thoughts are?  How content do they make us with our own life?

My new frame of mind is that I am very fortunate to have all I do, and I have earned it.  I have natural talents and skills that have gotten me to this point.  There is no use thinking of all that I haven’t got, and all that I didn’t do in life before now.  All we have is now, and I am going to enjoy it.  Joan Collins wrote a great piece in her book ‘Joan’s Way’.

‘You may think ‘oh I haven’t achieved much,’ but you have.  You achieved growing up and having relationships with people, with your family and friends.  Count your friends.  I’ll bet you have a lot more than you think you have, but of course, it’s relative.  The Queen may have many more friends than you but maybe the woman who lives down the street has less.  You achieved learning – even if you didn’t pass ‘A’ levels you know how to read, write, talk, argue, discuss, evaluate, bargain, catch a bus, plan a holiday, cook a meal, change a light bulb.  Tiny things, true, but each an achievement in its own way.’

Isn’t that a nice way to look at things?  To appreciate yourself for every single little thing that you can do?  I always find it helpful to look at myself through others eyes.  I have had people comment on how clever I am with my sewing, knitting and handcrafts etc.  I always brush it off, but when you think about it, it’s pretty magical to take a square piece of fabric or a ball of wool and make a useable and decorative item.

So at times when I feel a bit flat and unmotivated, like I haven’t done much with my life, I will think of Joan’s words.

And in that spirit, here are three things I’m good at, a la Joan.

I can cook a delicious and nutritious dinner from scratch.

I balance our business and personal budgets daily and am generally good with finances.

I can knit, sew, mend, crochet and patchwork.

We all have things we have learnt to do and that we are naturally good at (author Victoria Moran calls it your ‘free square’).  I’d love to know, what are three things you are good at?  Or what do others praise you for?

Day Twenty Three: Fold

Scarves on the left, t-shirts on the right

I read a decluttering article in the May 2014 Red magazine recently in which Japanese author Marie Kondo was quoted.  Her bestseller The Life Changing Magic of Tidying has just been translated from her native language into English.  Of course I have already ordered it from the library.

Among other things, she talked about folding your clothes to stack ‘vertically’ rather than in piles.  Marie says not only can you see every one of your garments at once, but they don’t wrinkle as much as there isn’t weight on top of them.  As soon as I got home that night I took out all the clothes from one drawer and then refolded as she suggested.

Winter and long-sleeve tops

I had so much more room in my drawers and could see all the colours so nothing gets missed.  I found tops at the bottom of the pile I’d forgotten about, and it wasn’t too long ago that I decluttered my drawers.

Here are some photos of my old-style drawers here.  With my new enthusiasm I even emptied out one other small drawer with all my scarves in and put them in with my t-shirts.  I had already been folding my scarves that way so I could see all my different ones, but hadn’t thought to do it with my other clothes that were in drawers.

 

Here is a link to a tiny part of the article on the Red magazine website here.

I can’t wait to receive my library order.  I wonder what other fun things Marie has up her sleeve.  I’d also love to know if you are now going to your bedroom to refold your clothes OR are you thinking ‘that Fiona really needs to get a life’.

Home lounge wear and pjs

Day Twenty Two: Quitting

A craft item I actually finished... may I present this lavender bag in Irish linen

Where did this unwritten rule come from that you need to finish everything you ever started or even thought about starting?  That you must feel both guilt and resentment at the very thought of not carrying through prior plans.

When you realise you have the option, as a free-thinking adult, of not doing something the pressure is off.  And then, the real answer comes.  At different times when I’ve decided to quit something, I then either do quit it with real relief and no guilt, or I get a renewed wish to continue and I do so happily.  Both are good outcomes.

If we carry something around with us knowing it has to be done but not wanting to do it, the guilt and resentment eats away at us and drains our energy.

Of course some jobs have to be done even if we can’t be bothered, and the only way to deal with those is to do them (finishing up the loose ends of our stocktake at the shop comes to mind), but there are many items on our mental to-do list that can simply be erased without consequence leaving breathing room in its place.

Here are some examples, both big and small:

I love borrowing books from the library.  With fiction books I used to feel obligated to finish them and sometimes they would really drag.  I decided that if I got to page 100 and the book was still not doing it for me I’d stop.  Some books I’ve been twenty pages in and considering quitting, but I’d go to 100 and end up loving it.  The one that surprised me most like this was Me Before You by Jojo Moyes (good!).

Craft supplies that I’d gathered with a grand plan and then lost interest – giving myself permission to not go through with the project either made me happy to donate them or keen to get going.

Just knowing that you can quit a job if you hate it badly enough sometimes helps you remember that actually it’s not that bad and it pays the bills.  It can also help you detach from the dramas there and sometimes gives you a kick in the pants to work harder (I’m a terrible employee I admit it).  The thing is, I’ve always worked in jobs that you have to be self-motivated to do boring and repetitive tasks (it was office work) and it was always hard to get myself going.  The day I left my last job, after working out my notice and having my leaving lunch, I remember walking through the city just after 5pm feeling like I’d just won Lotto.  I felt light as air and almost euphoric.

When I signed up for a boot camp training course some years back, the first several were fun, but then it stopped being fun.  It was too hard-core for me and meant we got home from work really late so I decided to stop going.  I felt guilt for even considering stopping half way through the course but soon shook that off and knew that gentle exercise was the way to get me moving.

What I’ve learnt most from these examples and many others is that just because you’ve made a decision doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind.  You are always free to change your mind.  Wise words from Richard Bach.

Day Twenty One: Live Slowly

When I feel like things are too hectic and fast- moving around me, I try to remember to go slowly.

Where possible I walk rather than drive, cook real food rather than pick up a takeaway, go to bed early and rise early.  I read the pages of a book rather than the computer screen, walk around the garden just because (even though my garden is not much to look at) and take some deep breaths at the same time.

I lie on the carpet to hugs the cats and sometimes lie on the carpet even when the cats aren’t around (it feels really grounding and wonderfully relaxing to just lie there on your back for a while).

There are so many ways we can slow down the pace of life.  Just thinking to yourself ‘how can I live a slower and more relaxed life’ will bring up your own ideas.

You will notice your muscles are relaxed rather than tense and that you sleep like a log, right through the night.   Your face will look younger because you are feeling calmer all the time.  Just thinking about being relaxed relaxes you!

Think about what is really important in your life and streamline out those things that don’t support your vision of a life well-lived.  Put time and energy into living your best life and also into causes that are dear to your heart.