I listened to a fantastic talk by Marisa Peer this week and I’m still thinking about it. It has affected me profoundly! (It’s above, or you can click through to YouTube to watch it here).
She talks about a commonality amongst all types of people, from Hollywood superstars to those of us that are living a more normal life, and it is that we feel we are not enough. That we somehow are failing because we are not perfect like we think we need to be. She's such a funny and engaging speaker and says that we're not born like this, that no baby thinks 'I'm having a bad hair day' or 'I've got triple knees', no, they just gurgle and smile and accept all the attention they're getting!
I certainly related to a lot of what Marisa was saying, and listening to her talk really helped me out. You see, I’ve been feeling a bit down over having gained weight since this time last year. Comfort eating over our southern hemisphere winter has led me to be a whole dress size bigger. Sugar is the main culprit for me and I have been eating much less of it now - not to be skinnier though, but just to feel good about myself, both physically and mentally.
Listening to Marisa's talk made me realise I am enough. Even with a bit of extra padding, even if I feel flawed, I am still enough. Just saying this to myself when I’m feeling annoyed for giving into the sugar cravings and because my clothes are tight, I do feel better.
And I’ve discovered the universal truth, which is that you can’t change something about yourself if you feel bad about it. So hating your weight, for example, doesn’t mean you’re going to lose it easily. More than likely you’re going to self-sabotage and eat something fattening. Telling yourself I am enough, on the other hand, is going to calm and relax you and help you make better decisions. As lightweight and non-altering as it sounds, those words really do work some magic.
I also conquered another belief that I had, which was that if I bought myself some new clothes, it was a waste because I planned to lose weight and I’d have wasted my money then. I believed that I should continue to wear the bigger size clothes that I have had for so long now that they are starting to show their age, until I’m skinnier. Basically that I don’t deserve new clothes unless I am a certain size.
I know. It seems so heartless written down but that’s what I was telling myself. Even in the changing room when I was trying things on I thought, ‘oh I can just wear my old clothes until I lose some weight, they’re fine’. And it’s not as if my weight is going to halve; I’m sure I could still wear the new clothes even if my weight did go down. And if I stayed my current weight for the rest of my life? What then? Never buy anything new, ever?
You will be pleased to know that I bought the new clothes, in a size that is comfortable, and I’ve felt amazing wearing them. I’ve looked forward to getting dressed in the morning and am having fun mixing and matching new and existing (non-threadbare) pieces. And that flows through to how you feel about yourself don’t you think? That you’re worth spending money on and looking nice at any size. That you’re enough.
I am enough.
Those three words have been saving my life this week (does that sound too dramatic?) and I think I’m in love with them. Thank you Marisa, the work you are doing is fabulous and so needed.
If you are reading this post right now, know that you are enough too. Completely and utterly. Say them to yourself over and over – ‘I am enough’. You might feel like a dork but keep on doing it and really feel it. It will soak in, I promise.
Is there something you’ve been putting off until that mythical time when you’re the perfect weight or your living situation is perfect or whatever strict limitations you’ve put on yourself? The first thing that pops into your mind, I challenge you to do something towards it.
A lovely reader of my Facebook page wrote to me this week and said she’s started ballet lessons that she’d been wanting to do for years, simply from being inspired by my Facebook posts on living a chic life. That really made my day! I love it when people tell me things like that, so thank you Y, for reaching out.
A Chic and Simple Christmas
If you haven’t read my newest Kindle eBook ‘A Chic and Simple Christmas’ it’s not too late to download it here. If your holiday season experiences don’t quite match the idyllic vision you have in your mind, I’d love for you to be inspired by ‘A Chic and Simple Christmas’ where I share how to create a holiday season you’ll love.
If you don’t have a Kindle eReader you can download the computer version for free so you can still read all the fabulous eBooks that are out there. Download the Kindle eReader free from Amazon here.
And if you have already read ‘A Chic and Simple Christmas’, I’d love it if you could share a favourite idea or something you’ve done differently as a result. I'd doubly love it if you could leave me an honest review on Amazon as well. I only have two reviews so far - thank you so much ii and Princess - and would be so happy to have some more to keep them company!
Inspiration to exercise
Many times I have credited the purchase of a tiny (one-inch square!), inexpensive and easy-to-use iPod Shuffle as the reason why I now happily walk 5-7 days per week which has resulted in my legs becoming shapelier (even if I’m a bit bigger, they still look toned) and saved my sanity many times (I might be grumpy when I get home, go out for a half hour walk and come back feeling so much better).
My iPod also helps me with the housework because I can potter around happily doing my jobs whilst listening to something interesting.
I get through a lot of audio books and podcasts as you can imagine, so I was excited to see that Audible is offering two free audiobooks with a free one-month trial. Yay, because some of the audiobooks are quite expensive normally!
My favourites are all there as well:
‘It’s All Too Much: An easy plan for living a richer life with less stuff’ by Peter Walsh (the author narrates which is a bonus; I love his voice and he’s so motivating to me)
And even Allen Carr’s ‘The Easy Way to Control Alcohol’ (I read his ‘No More Hangovers’ book first but also read ‘The Easy Way to Control Alcohol which is a longer version of the same thing – they’re both amazing and… I’m still a happy non-drinker, 3.5 years later).
You can get your two free Audible audiobooks here.
Happy week-before-Christmas everyone. Be festively chic!