Real Life versus Fantasy Life

Simplicity in palette, and luxuriously sparse elegance.  Style inspiration from the new Chanel boutique on Avenue Montaigne in Paris.

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I’ve come across the idea of real life versus fantasy life from two different sources recently.  I’ve been reading Peter Walsh, master declutterer that he is, and I also came across the same idea in a ‘money savvy’ newspaper article in a recent newspaper.  Both authors ask you to think about what your life is really like, rather than what you imagine your fantasy life could be.

And because I still have uppermost in my mind a vision of how I want my home life to be – that airy and spacious abode reminiscent of a Parisian apartment, I will continue on with my minimising quest.

The lady who was quoted in the money article said she finally admitted to herself that she never held formal dinners in which she needed to keep a huge amount of crockery and glassware for.

That resounded with me because I do that.  Not so much with plates, because all the plates and bowls we have are used, but with the glasses and also the tiny dishes I think I will fill with flaky salt and cracked pepper to use with a little spoon at fancy dinners.  Apart from perhaps Christmas day (when we did not use the little salt dish and spoon even then), I almost never have big sit-down dinners.

When we entertain, I like to have one friend/couple/family over at a time.  It is less formal and intimidating, and you get to catch up with them properly.

So this thought of real life versus fantasy life helped me clear out many items in my kitchen cupboard such as excess wine glasses.  I kept my nicest and newest and donated the rest.  Giving all the glasses that are to be donated a quick rinse through the dishwasher means they look nice and new and sparkly, the charity store won’t have to clean them, and they will look more appealing to their customers.

Real life versus fantasy life spills over into many different areas.  Here are a few others I’ve been thinking about.

The wardrobe – actually thinking about what we do in any given week and what clothes we require for that.  Not giving too much space to clothing that is worn very infrequently or not at all.  Getting rid of fantasy items that we never have occasion to wear.

The food we keep in our pantry and fridge.  You might be like me and have ingredients that were bought when you were feeling creative but then never wanted to use.  I am challenging myself to use these products in meals at the moment.  When I cleaned out my pantry last week it was almost a relief that couple of items had expired and I could dispose of them, as much as I don’t like to waste food.  The pressure is off!

Books and magazines.  How many of these am I going to re-read and wouldn’t they be better off in someone else’s home where they will be enjoyed rather than stagnating in mine?

Bulky items that are taking up space and we don’t use them – electric blankets that we haven’t used for years and that were heading for twenty years old, I threw them out (for safety reasons).  Two electric heaters and a dehumidifier that are stored in a cupboard under the stairs in case we need them one day – these are being donated closer to winter.  This will give us much more space to store our vacuum cleaner and suitcases in a roomy and stress-free manner.  Actually these aren’t fantasy life items, they are ‘just in case items’, and they can go too.

Crafting supplies.  This is a big category for me and I’m sure many others.  I have many projects that I am set up for but I only have so many days in the week, and if I haven’t made time for some of them by now, doesn’t that tell me something?

I will be going through my sewing room/office and only keeping the few projects that really excite me.  Everything else will go into my (now clear after a big drop-off at the new SPCA op shop) guest bedroom.  The guest bedroom is my cool-off area where I can put items to be donated.  I don’t have to make the decision whilst I’m tidying and decluttering an area which frees me to be more ruthless.  When I go back later to survey what I have put there, very little appeals that much to me that I have to take it back.  I think Apartment Therapy man calls this idea an ‘Outbox’.

One other tip that has been helping me streamline the items I keep in our house, is to look at the space available.  After all, every room and cupboard in our house, and also our house itself is a finite amount of space.  The narrow shelf where I keep our coffee/tea mugs was always a small point of annoyance every time I emptied the dishwasher.  There was a couple too many cups so I never had room for them if they were all clean.  I decluttered three and put them in my donation box and now I have a lovely roomy shelf.

The same can apply to the number of coat-hangers (one garment per hanger!) you have in your wardrobe and also the size of your drawers.  On a day that all your washing is up-to-date you can fully complete the decluttering task.  It’s not a good feeling when you think you’ve got a manageable wardrobe after a prune-out but then realise you’ve still got washing in the laundry that is going to ‘push you over the edge’ again.

I’m reading Peter Walsh’s Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? and he makes the link between having a clutter-filled, chaotic home and being overweight.  Just as we push more and more into our homes and then feel overwhelmed, we do the same with our body.  He says that weight loss from decluttering was an unexpected outcome but one that many people wrote to him about.  I would believe it too.

Here is a letter from one of Peter’s clients, that was in the book:

Dear Peter,

About a year ago I completely decluttered my kitchen and I was so consumed by the task that I didn’t focus on food.  I actually began to do a sort of ‘fast’ in a natural sort of way.  I was performing a cleanse on my kitchen and a simultaneous cleanse of my body.  Normally, I am obsessed with food so this seemed unusual to me.  At this point, I carry about ten to fifteen pounds more than feels comfortable to me, and in the same way my house is cluttered with extra ‘fat’.  I thought that I had some sort of organisational disability, but now I think that my clutter protects me in some way (the same way that a little tyre of fat around the middle can protect you).  Clutter is a way of sabotaging my life in the same way that gaining weight makes me feel helpless and hopeless about my body.

--

When my house is messy, untidy and cluttered, I feel that way too.  Better food choices come from a clean and tidy kitchen where you use everything you own and don’t have a pantry full of expired foods and junky foods.

You don’t necessarily need to join Weight Watchers to start losing weight, you just need to start cleaning out those cluttered corners of your home.  I know, I’ve done both, and decluttering works better and the healthier eating is sustainable for the long term!

An evening with Mireille

Mireille Guiliano visited my town last night promoting her newest book French Women Don’t Get Facelifts. I was so excited when my Mum emailed a while back to let me know she was coming and immediately booked my ticket!

It was a beautiful summer evening and the event ‘Conversation with Mireille’ was held at the Villa Maria vineyard which looked absolutely stunning as I drove in.

Of course I put a lot of thought into what I was going to wear. The Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress looked to be a shoo-in but it was a very hot and humid day so I wondered if I would be too warm in its long-ish fitting sleeves. I decided on one of my other Hawaii purchases, an army green Banana Republic coatdress.

There were a lot of women already there when I arrived and many of them were milling outside. I saw inside the door that some women were already seated so I went in and bravely sat in the very first row, right in front of the lectern. I didn’t want to miss a single breath.

She was fabulous. Very gentle and fun and she seemed a genuinely lovely person. She read a few excerpts from her book and talked about the different categories in her newest book, such as dressing, skincare, grooming, ‘invisible’ exercise and enjoying life.

I took good notice of her personal style too of course. Mireille wore a blouse in white and black with a toile de jouy type print and it seemed to be one of those uniquely French ones that are finely pleated/scrunched, the ruffled collar and placket edging certainly was. Her pants were classic and not tight at all, and she had mid-heel shoe-boots in embossed black suede.

You couldn’t help but notice Mireille's black epi-leather Louis Vuitton bag, centre-stage as it was. I’m not sure what the style is known as but I found some pictures of one called Bowling Montaigne which it may be.

And hanging slightly out of her bag was a scarf in a beautiful ochre colour. It was a pleated silky/acetate looking fabric and the shade was a good match for her hair (she must already know the trick that three personalised colours that are great for you are to match your hair, eye and skin colour).

Her makeup was subtle to the point of unnoticeable. Mireille talked about this during the evening. She said as she gets older she wears less, and said bright red lipstick is too much for her now, and that too much eye makeup emphasizes her wrinkles, so she wears very little. Of course there are women of a certain age who wear quite striking makeup and that is part of their ‘look’. It all goes back to knowing yourself and being uniquely you. Apparently French women would be horrified to look like other women and want their own look that no-one else has.

I noticed Mireille’s hands – she had short, neat nails, with either no polish or just clear. I always feel bad that I don’t wear at least a pale pink polish, but the reality with my job is that it chips within one day, and even if you can’t notice with a light colour, I know it’s chipped and tacky. Opening shoebox after shoebox just shears that colour right off.

Mireille said there were usually two kinds of people who came to her book launches. 1. Women who want to lose weight (particularly for her first book I suppose) and 2. Francophiles. I tried to appear invisible at that comment because it is quite an embarrassing thing to be exposed as someone who is shallow enough to like something or someone just because they are French and stylish!

She was surprised when her first book became a bestseller in France, because as she rightly said, why would a French woman listen to another French women living in America talking about being French. But the main reason French women liked her book was the nostalgia factor. They told her they remembered their mothers saying the same things to them that Mireille recounted.

About exercise Mireille said she and her French friends hated that word and did not use the gym. Of course some French women go to the gym but it is not as common as in other countries. One of her close American friends moved to Paris and ran gym classes there. When they caught up two years later, Mireille was stunned to find that her American friend did not speak one word of French. The reason was that all her clients were ex-pats and not French women! Mireille talked about walking being the best exercise, and said others also swam, cycled and did yoga.

I even got to speak directly to Mireille. At the end of her talk, audience members were asked if they had any questions. Not many people asked, and I had a sudden thought what an amazing opportunity this was but I couldn’t think of anything to ask! I said to myself ‘what is the best question to ask Mireille’. I then put my hand up and the presenter sitting with her handed me her microphone. I said to Mireille that she obviously travelled a lot (she was in London the previous week, she had mentioned earlier) and how did she pack, did she have the perfect capsule wardrobe and what were her travel secrets.

She told us that she never checked her bag but always had the small wheelie one that you could carry on. She said sometimes airports are so spread out you are walking for miles, and who wants to drag a big heavy bag around. She also said she had three items of clothing that she made four outfits from. I’m going to try and work that one out! She also said she always put tissue paper in between her clothing items.

That’s another ‘life of luxury’ tip I thought afterwards. Tissue paper is not expensive (and often free – I save it up and never use it for anything) and you could reuse it over and over if you are careful. I am going to put some in my suitcase so I remember next time I travel.

After her talk we were told we could purchase her new book and have it signed if we wished. I was thrilled to have this chance and had put off buying the book hoping this would be the case. I have been reading it though as I already had it out of the library (so now I can return it!) and I love it.

I bought the book and joined the lengthy queue. When it came to my turn she was sweet and quite unassuming, very normal really! She wrote my name and signed hers. As I was about to leave and she was moving onto the next person I squeaked out at the last minute ‘did she allow photos’. ‘Of course’, she replied. And she so thoughtfully moved a gift she was given off the seat next to her and pulled it up close for a better photo. She really is lovely and charming, and I’d be very surprised if it was an act. People can’t fake that. As I was leaving I said to her ‘I’ll see you with your next book’ to which she replied ‘it will be about oysters… and carrots’.

I didn’t take notes like I thought I might because I really wanted to be present and enjoy the talk, but I did jot down some when I got home of the things I remembered.

At one point she told the audience that if they don’t change anything else in your life at all, add good yoghurt into your diet 'for one year', plain yoghurt that is made just from milk and culture. She reckons that one yoghurt a day will help you lose weight because ‘without going into all of the science about it’ yoghurt has fat-burning properties.

I’m not so much interested in weight loss these days but more focused on maximum nutrition, because I know if you focus on eating good, real nutritious food, your body and weight will be stable and happy. I had forgotten about yoghurt for a while though, so I bought some today to add to my fresh fruit and raw nuts for breakfast.

Mireille said of relationships that ‘love’ and ‘laughter’ are the two things to have. She said you can have one or the other and be quite happy, but to have both means you’ve really struck the jackpot.

To summarise, the message I took from Mireille in both her words and the way she comported herself, was to be relaxed and content, enjoy the fun side of life, and be gentle with and look after yourself in all ways.

As I drove home just after 8pm with the sun setting on a beautiful dark blue sky, I felt so grateful and fortunate to have been able to listen to and meet one of my favourite and most inspirational authors.

How I Became A Non-Drinker

I wasn’t sure whether I would talk about this on my blog because I didn’t want to come across as preachy. We all make our own decisions in life and I don’t want to presume to influence yours, however I have been asked to elaborate on being a non-drinker and am happy to do so.

I think there are a lot of very normal people out there who are not happy with the way they think about drink. I know I wasn’t.

Never in a million years would I have considered myself to have a drinking problem or need to go to AA (I still don't), however I would jokingly say I was concerned at how much I looked forward to a glass of Chardonnay, brandy and dry or g&t when I got home.

I also did not like the fact that these drinks helped me keep me just that little bit fatter than I would have liked. This is due to the fact that alcohol is highly calorific being worse than pure sugar, plus you might add mixers (choose your poison – sugar or artificial sweeteners). AND a drink seems to include snacks for me.

So I had a love/hate relationship with my cocktail hour. Love the chance to sit down with a magazine or book, hate the fact that my evening drink(s) were making me unproductive with a dumpy figure.

It all started a couple of years ago in a conversation with one of our sales reps who was pregnant. She told me she was so glad she had given up smoking a few years earlier, as it would have been harder to do once she found out she was pregnant. I asked her how she did it and she said she read the Allen Carr book which completely cured her instantly and she’d never thought about it since.

At the time I remember thinking, I’m sure he has also written a book about dieting, maybe I’ll look it up at the library. When I was doing this, I saw he had another interesting title called ‘No More Hangovers’. I requested them both, and picked them up next time I was in at the library.

Even though I initially wanted the diet book, I ended up reading No More Hangovers first. Because it is a tiny book and very simply written, it didn’t take long. A few hours later I remember putting the book down and thinking to myself ‘well, I won’t be drinking alcohol again’.

I never dreamed that that would be the case, but at this stage it is. I read the book in May 2012 and haven’t so much as desired a single sip of alcohol since. I don’t really know how this happened and if I ever want to drink again I certainly will, but I just don’t want to. It doesn’t bother me being around other people drinking and I always, always have a few deep sniffs of a good wine and can really appreciate the bouquet.

I felt like I had to apologise to my husband for ditching him as a ‘drinking partner’ as we used to enjoy a nice wine together. He says he is fine with it and we have an honest enough relationship that I believe him. He reckons it doesn’t bother him in the slightest that I do not drink and even said it has helped him cut back too which he feels better for. On nights when one of us might have poured a drink out of habit, he doesn’t. Now he only has wine on the weekends (we would have had drinks 3-5 nights per week before) and the occasional cold beer in summer.

Last Christmas we holidayed in my native Hawke’s Bay which is very much wine country. I was the happiest person around being the chauffeur showing off our beautiful vineyards while my husband sipped. It really was as much fun for me even though I never tasted a drop.

I do miss the taste of my favourite wine varietals don't get me wrong, however I don’t want the feeling that comes with drinking now. I have tried de-alcoholised wine but it doesn’t bear much resemblance at all.

So what are my new tipples?

If I am in a bar or restaurant after work and want a pick-me-up, for a one-off treat I might order a Red Bull, which I agree isn’t very chic sounding, and I always ask for it to be served in a flute. It is a golden colour and looks just like champagne!

In a more casual bar I might order a ginger beer. In Hawaii most bars and restaurants had an alcohol-free beer option – St Pauli and Becks, both German. To me they taste just like normal beer and it’s nice not to feel like a kid with a glass of Coke.

I also never feel ‘apart’ from the drinkers if it’s a group of us. Strangely enough I often feel a bit happy along with everyone else later on, as though I’ve had a few drinks. But I’m just getting into the spirit of things!

We still have cocktail hour at home too. I usually keep in the fridge:

- Diet Coke in a can (I’m not a fan of artificial sweeteners but I don’t want to drink sugar. I buy it in cans so I can have a single portion and it’s always fizzy).

- Mini bottles of Perrier with Lime or Lemon flavouring (expensive but a yummy and stylish treat).

I serve both the Diet Coke or Perrier in a flute. It feels more special and I sip it slowly, rather than gulp if it was in a big glass. I heard once that apparently French girls called Diet Coke 'Champagne Noir' which probably gave me the idea, impressionable consumer that I am!

- Clausthaler German beer which is 0.5% (classed as alcohol-free) (usually from the bottle on a hot day).

I have any of these and now limit my snacks (cheese and crackers or a little bowl of potato chips) to the weekend. We have our dinner earlier on weeknights and the combination of all these things has helped me to become more svelte. Plus I enjoy my dinner much more not having had snacks beforehand.

If I am going somewhere I might take a few Clausthaler beers, or for a more formal occasion a large bottle of Perrier to have by itself or mix with sparkling grape juice. Always out of a champagne flute of course.

I have had many ask if I am pregnant (no) and look at me strangely (I have learned to live with that). Sometimes I say I am the designated driver, and sometimes that ‘I am on a health kick’ and it seems to satisfy people. Once you turn down a drink most people want you to have one more than ever.

Really, I can’t even tell you have good I feel. My body (and mind) is so happy. I dropped 2-4 kg without even trying. I never wake up seedy anymore. At my age even one glass of wine could affect my sleep and have me feeling below par in the morning. And if you have a ‘fun’ night where you ‘let go’, the next day is a guarantee of poor quality eating (at least it was for me) because you feel so rotten.

And it’s all down to Allen Carr’s book plus, I suppose, my underlying wish to not be beholden to alcohol. I feel so grateful that alcohol no longer has a pull over me. I never hear it calling my name and can walk past any display at the supermarket. I just know ‘it’s not for me’ anymore and that is my wish, not something I am ‘trying to stick to’.

My sister who has two young children, read the No More Hangovers book a month after I did and the same thing happened to her. She is an ecstatic non-drinker now. Like me, she used to worry about how much she looked forward to her evening drink, even if she didn’t drink that much.

I’ve probably said enough by now, but if you have any questions I’d be glad to answer them!

Update 31 August 2015:  Still a super-happy non-drinker and I'm not even tempted.  I heard recently that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.  And that's how I feel about alcoholic drinks, I'm indifferent to them.  But I still don't know how this one little book worked its magic on me, I'm just glad it did :)

A Life of Luxury

Lunch at Italian restaurant Il Lupino in Waikiki.  It was the lovely courtyard area that made me want to eat there!

The word ‘luxury’ is such an enchanting word, and there are many different meanings you can attach to it. I love to daydream about living a luxurious life. Yes, having material luxury goods is part of that daydream, but whether I am willing to pay for them and take care of them is another matter altogether.

On the rare occasion that I purchase a lottery ticket (maybe once or twice a year), it is a fun game for my husband and myself to plan what we are going to do with our winnings. That alone is almost worth the price of the ticket. We decide what we are going to do with the shop, where we will travel to and where we will live. We talk about what our new daily routine might be.

It is at these times that I reinforce to myself that we live a life of luxury already. Yes, we have to go to work, but how I conduct myself when I’m there, and what we do at home I encourage myself to do in a way that I think I would should I win that luxurious lottery lifestyle.

Fresh fruit and vegetables every day. In the morning for breakfast a bowl overflowing with any of these, fresh and sliced – pineapple, strawberries, pear, apple, apricots, orange – topped with a handful of mixed raw nuts.

For lunch a luscious salad of lettuce, both home-grown and store-bought, home-grown fresh herbs torn on top, and any or all of sliced carrots, capsicum, celery, cucumber, tomato, then finished with good protein such as a couple of hard-boiled eggs, shredded roast chicken or tuna at a pinch and always avocado.  Creamy dressings are my treat - I love Paul Newman's caesar dressing  and ranch as well.

In the evening a home-cooked meal, perhaps a roast? With roast vegetables and steamed broccoli, cauliflower and asparagus dressed in extra-virgin olive oil.

And of course glass after glass of fresh, clear, life-giving water throughout the day.

Am I in a fancy health spa or a top-notch country hotel? No! This is what I eat every day at home. I have gradually increased my consumption of fresh fruit and vegetables over time so that now the majority of my diet consists of them.

I am slowly and permanently ironing out poor dietary habits and changing them to new, healthy ones. As an added bonus, being slender and feeling vibrant is on my luxury lifestyle list too.

Spa-like pampering. Soft smooth exfoliated legs and arms, polished brightly coloured toenails, blow-dried silky hair and lightly applied make-up. I don’t have to visit a spa for all these things, I just need to allow plenty of time in the morning to get ready (because I like to move slowly). I also remind myself that all these pampering things don’t take very long, they are virtually free, and the results are worth it (I need that reminder on lazy days sometimes).

Having a leisurely start to the day. To have plenty of time to get ready in the morning, I made the decision years ago that I would rise at 6am every day, whether it was a work day or a day at home. It’s better for your body to get up at the same time every day. It doesn’t have to be 6am, but that’s what time I have to get up to get ready for work, so I do it on my weekends too.

If you get up at different times throughout the week you give yourself a form of jetlag. And I read recently that having greatly varying times of getting up and bedtime is worse for retaining weight, just another reason to set my alarm.

Always having an engrossing book to read, be it fiction or non-fiction. Having a rich inner life is the best way to live a luxurious life on little money, and a book is a great vehicle. I read from my current book or books every day, always with my breakfast, sometimes with my lunch, sometimes before dinner, and definitely in bed when I retire for the evening.

I don’t often buy a book straight away, instead I borrow from the library first and then buy new if I like it enough for my personal library at home. I also browse charity stores and can pick up great books from there. They aren’t usually more than a dollar or two.  Sometimes they are keepers and sometimes I read and re-donate.

Beautiful music as my personal soundtrack. I have many playlists on my iPod that I play at home depending on my mood. There are Buddha Bar/Hotel Costes/Café del Mar ones for when I want to feel cool and connected to the world, Richard Clayderman and Carl Doy for when I want to feel hotel-ish when I am doing my housework, relaxing classical adagios to feel elegant and peaceful, jazz for dinner guests or lazy Sundays and many more. Music is a must in my luxury lifestyle.

Surrounding myself with beauty and order. At home I prefer calming colours. Even something as pedestrian as a washing basket I chose white, so it would blend in in the laundry or when I am putting clothing away. I couldn’t cope with a bright blue one for example.  Picking up and putting away as I move around the house keeps things looking tidy and helps my serenity.

Always having space to put something away at home is luxurious to me, that is why I love decluttering so much. The satisfaction I gain from editing and organizing a space for maximum ease and future pleasure is immense!

How does your life of luxury look?

On Holiday

Bonjour, and happy new year to you. Even though I have been back at work for over a week now, many people are still on their summer holidays and I feel like I am too! I am reading lots of books and, apart from making our house nice, not doing much else. It feels quite relaxing actually, and I don't even begrudge being back at work.

I have lots of ideas and enthusiasm for 2014. My decluttering enthusiasm is at an all-time-high and I was thrilled to receive a flyer in the mail yesterday announcing that an SPCA op shop will be opening just down the road. I am all too happy to part with something if I know it's going to a good home or will benefit a good cause. It's when I feel an item might be wasted that I hang onto it.

I have a tidy array of bags filled with all sorts of household items and clothing ready to be donated, which I am adding to daily. I can't wait to visit the new SPCA op shop in the next couple of weeks to drop them off. I am even re-thinking things that I used to enjoy, such as my sewing and knitting. I would never declutter my sewing machine and overlocker as I use them regularly, but my big stash of fabrics waiting for me to make into a patchwork quilt or sew my own clothing? I am still keen on the clothing part, but I think I can probably halve my fabric store without even noticing (except to feel relief).

I decluttered my cloth napkins, tea towels, placemats, aprons, tablecloths etc yesterday. I have two drawers with those things in, and I took them both out and put all my items on the dining table. Lucky I had just brought the washing in so everything was there. I put back my favourite ones, left out unfavourites and raggedy and then spent a few minutes admiring the beauty of my drawers that were not bulging as I shut them. I put the raggedies in a rag bag to donate and the unfavourites in my op shop pile.

Next up I feel my pantry coming on. I am going to remove all the plates, cups and glasses, basically anything that is not food, from the shelves and put them on the kitchen bench, wipe out the pantry and then only put back my favourite things to see how it looks. Then consider what's left on the bench and likely pack the rest into shoeboxes for donation.

The photos of me are in Hawaii where we spent eight nights over New Year's. I know, it was fabulous. We stayed right on Waikiki Beach and the weather as well as the busy buzz of lots of people around was wonderful. Many stores had post-Christmas sales on so I did a bit of chic shopping. My navy and white stripe dress is from Banana Republic and I even bought a Diane Von Furstenburg wrap dress. Oh my gosh, I didn't think I would ever see the day as they are so expensive in New Zealand. And it's every bit as lovely as I hoped it might be - 100% silk jersey, just a dream to wear.

Me in my DVF wrap dress with Virgin Chi Chi cocktail before dinner.

I hope your Christmas and New Year was peaceful and that you are feeling positive about 2014!

Christmas Chic

Now that Christmas is almost here, have you planned ahead on how you are going to most enjoy the day?

Having been a little bit strict with what I eat and drink in December (just a little, not completely strict, that way it's do-able for the long term), I also plan to not let myself go completely on Christmas day. I have a plan for what I will consume, and while this sounds a bit Bah Humbug, I know I will be happier both during (looking chic) and after (feeling chic and slim).

Something as simple as deciding what you will do beforehand makes it surprisingly easy to resist temptation later on.

For example, I know that sugar makes me feel horrible after I have it and I often end up with a sinusitis headache (which lasts 2-3 days or even more) if I've eaten lots of sugar in one go. You’d think I would learn, and perhaps I am now.

I’m not talking about natural sugars here. I have fresh fruit every day for breakfast and am happy with that. But processed sugar is another thing altogether and I know I am happier with it not in my diet for the most part. But enjoyment of life is important, so I have some sweet treats most days (like two squares of 72% cocoa chocolate after dinner).

So on Christmas day my plan is to enjoy my meal and not pig out on the nibbles beforehand, and have a very small dessert after. Often the first taste is the nicest, and once you have tasted it then what do you need more for? At least that’s what I’m telling myself, and doesn’t it sound more chic than a piled up dessert bowl?

We have two ‘Christmas days’ coming up. I am doing desserts for both Christmas dinners. For the first one on Christmas day, I have been asked to make a Banoffi Pie. This dessert is decadent to the max, so my plan is to have the tiniest sliver after my dinner, so I can have a taste of it without making myself feel sick.

The next Christmas dinner one day later, my plan for dessert is to prepare fresh seasonal fruit and bring a gourmet ice cream to have with it. Doesn’t that sound refreshing after a big Christmas dinner? Remember it is summer here!

I have plans for drinks too. I will be taking along chilled bottles of Perrier and sparkling white grape juice and will sip these from a champagne flute. I don’t drink anymore (that’s a story for another day) but when I did, I would often have only one glass of champagne before dinner and maybe one glass of wine with dinner.

Drinking during the day makes you so tired, even one glass will. I still remember a champagne Christmas breakfast where I had a couple of glasses of bubbles in the morning and felt out of sorts all day.

And to finish off, you may also want to think about plans on how you are going to go about your Christmas day. What time you are going to wake up, how organised you will be, how relaxed and cheerful you are and how much time you will leave yourself to get to places. When I have a social occasion coming up that is a bit out of the ordinary I like to do this and it helps me be calmer, nicer and enjoy it more.

I also pledge to myself that I will have mystique and decorum when I am there, and always, always have a strategy to deal with those that I know may challenge my serenity. I don’t want to stoop to their level so I try to take the high road and don’t do much of the talking myself, that way I cannot be caught out by them. I am pleasant but detached around those I am wary of.

I realise my strategies outlined above may seem like overkill and a bit regimented but they aren’t supposed to be. I just like to think about things beforehand and go through likely scenarios and how I will react to them. I also like to play out dinners in my mind and think about what I will eat and drink. There is a quote about discipline setting you free, rather than holding you back like we think it does, and I try to remember that.

Deciding about things ahead of time really does help me be disciplined and do what I want to do, rather than be carried away by what’s available and what people offer me. You don’t need to make a big deal out of not having something either. If someone offers you something that you don’t want, you can simply say, ‘oh I couldn’t/won’t right now, but I might have some later when I have a bit more room’, or if it’s before dinner ‘oh I’m saving myself for dinner, I might have some later though’ (later may never come but no-one needs to know that!). And of course a simple and polite 'no thank you' with a smile always works too.

I always find it’s easier to resist the first taste of something you didn’t know you wanted until you saw it, than to try and stop that automatic arm shovelling snacks into your mouth.

Lastly, pull your shoulders back and remember to breathe. I have to constantly remind myself of that.

Wishing you a chic Christmas, see you next year!

Inspiring Blogs

Coffee-table candles gussied up for Christmas

Ever since I started reading the first blog I came across almost a decade ago, they have been happy places of inspiration and company. Sometimes I will click through to a blog that is new to me and read for a short while before moving on. It is subtle things that can turn you on or off to a blog but the main thing to me is the genuineness of someone’s voice.

I am still reading the first blog that came onto my radar and even though her life is totally different to mine, really, in every way possible, I still gain peace and pleasure from many of her posts.

Others listed below I have also been reading for many years and even if I might have a break because I’ve lost all my bookmarks with a computer changeover for example, I eventually find my favourites again and it’s like visiting an old friend!

I have gained so many fabulous ideas and ways to live well from all the blog posts that I have read over the years, and a lot of them I have printed out to make my own wonderful books. My favourite early-bedtime reading is one of these binders. They soothe me like nothing else does.

Of course you have to have your own mind and decide the direction you want your life to take and what you want in it, but I do really enjoy having places I can visit when I am lacking in motivation or need inspiring. I think the one thing that these blogs share is that they tell me I am good enough exactly as I am, whilst also making me want to be the best version of myself possible and be nice to others at the same time. Isn't that grand?

I’d like to share with you a few of my long-time favourites. Some of them are religious and many are focused on the home, and living in a beautifully simple way. Seeing them listed now, I don’t really follow style blogs it seems. I feel like I should but I don’t! I find fashion blogs can make me feel anxious and like I'm not trying hard enough. I have my own classic way of dressing that I tweak over time to stay au courant (that's what I tell myself anyway). By not having too many clothes, it means when I do purchase something it is from the current season so I don't worry about that really.

In no particular order, my long-time favourites:

Charming The Birds From The Trees

Home Living

Pleasant View Schoolhouse

Domestic Felicity

The Gardener’s Cottage

And some newer (to me) ones I am enjoying at the moment:

Down To Earth

Posie Gets Cozy

The Quiet Home

The Enchanted Cottage

And then there are the blogs which have been deleted or are no longer being written on that I treasure the wise words I have saved and printed out. I can’t say thank you to all those people individually, but perhaps by sending it out into the atmosphere now, it will reach them in some way. Please accept my sincere thanks and appreciation for your thoughts and ideas. Your words have helped me in more ways than you will ever know.

I would love to hear your all-time favourite and perhaps longest-time reading blogs? I’m always open to new ones (even if they aren’t new at all!)