Saturday, March 24, 2018

The Chic Rebel


One of my lovely writing students emailed me this week and asked if I had ever taken Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz, because she had a feeling I was a 'Rebel'.  I took the quiz and... ta da, I am a Rebel.  I bought Gretchen's Four Tendencies Kindle book and have been reading the Rebel chapter.

It's as if she was reading my mind!!  Not only do I involuntarily rebel when someone tells me I should do something, but I do the same when I make changes that are good for me such as cutting back sugar or exercising more.  Wowza, what an eye-opener!

I've worked out a lot of how I tick for myself, but it's great to find out more.  I already know that I have to make something fun to want to do it.  Say it's tidying up my wardrobe or getting out my next season's clothes.  If I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist and ride right into winter with my summer clothes still hanging up and digging out the odd winter thing from my off-season containers.

However, if I imagine my chicest self and go at that same job with the eye of a Vogue editor putting new outfits together and having French music playing in the background, I happily dive in.

When I think 'I've not had many salads lately, I'd better get back into that, it's enough to make me have a baked potato with sour cream and butter instead.  What is better for me is to indulge in my love for stacked GladWare and Tupperware containers in the fridge filled with pre-chopped salad ingredients and washed, crisped, torn lettuce.

It makes my heart so happy to see those containers and I even love browsing storage catalogues for that same reason.  At lunchtime all I have to do it sprinkle a bit of everything into a bowl, top with nuts/grated cheese/protein/avocado etc and I have a healthy lunch.

I honestly have to treat myself as a truculent child who will say No! to whatever you say even though they would probably be quite happy doing something if it was their own idea.

But guess what, I'm okay with all that.  Whatever works!  It's far easier to go along with your natural tendencies (Ha, tendencies!  That Gretchen must know what she's talking about) than to try and be something different.

A funny aside:  I haven't read any of Gretchen's books even though they are wildly popular because when something is too trendy, it puts me off.  When everyone else is running in one direction I often run the opposite way - even if it's good for me!

If you think I sound like I'm crazy, you're probably not a 'Rebel'.  But if you're nodding in agreement, welcome to the Rebel club.

You can take Gretchen's quiz for free below (it's thankfully quite short, some quizzes you lose the will to live seeing that you've been answering questions for five minutes and you're only 7% in), and she includes a report of your tendency so you don't even have to buy the book.

Four Tendencies Quiz

I'm not getting paid anything to send you to her quiz, I just think it's really cool.  But if you do want to buy her book, I have an affiliate link for that :)  https://amzn.to/2pAaGrU

I'd love to hear what you are and if it rings true, and I'd like to thank you dear Tara for showing me my inner Rebel!  I think on the outside I look pretty normal.  I am a stealth Rebel, perhaps :)  Maybe you are too?

Happy weekend,
~Fiona~

PS.  The photo is of my wonderful husband Paul and I (it was our tenth wedding anniversary this month!) at the top of Te Mata Peak in Havelock North last week with gorgeous Autumn showing her face.

~~
 

You can find me here too:

31 comments:

  1. And as well as being cool. You live in NZ. Now I’m just envious. Greetings from Tasmania,

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    1. Well, Tasmania is not too shabby either :)

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  2. Lovely photo of you both, Fiona. I am, according to the quiz, an obliger (sigh). As a libra sun (personality) and libra moon (emotions) I am a true libran! I need to be accountable for things that I do for me (hello, one's own blog....)

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    1. I am Libra sun and Cancer moon :)

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    2. that libra cancer combination makes for beautiful homes xx

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    3. Ooh, I didn't know that. Thank you!

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  3. Questioner. Wait, can that be right? I need more information to decide!

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    1. Haha, love your sense of humour, Keli!

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  4. I really enjoyed The Four Tendencies book too! I’m an Upholder, which maybe drive you Rebels nuts. :) It’s interesting to note the tendencies in friends, family & partner. It helps me to understand them better.

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    1. I'm sure you could never drive me nuts, Catherine :)

      And yes, I'm looking forward to making my husband take the test so I can see what he is. I'm sure he's not a rebel as he's very good at doing what needs to be done, annoyingly so! (I'm a bit jealous of that attribute.)

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  5. Omigosh, this made me laugh! I am SO a rebel in so many ways (not exclusively, thank goodness, or I'd never get anything done!). I've been following Rubin's discussions on the Four Tendencies before she even wrote the book so have had plenty of time to watch my Inner Rebel in action (not always a pretty sight). The words "should", "must" & "have to" are like sparks to gasoline to me & date right back to childhood. Family members have told me I was the most obstinate child they'd ever seen & would absolutely, flatly refuse to do anything I didn't want to do regardless of the punishment or outcome. (Apparently I'd hear the words "or else" whether they were said aloud or not & that would be the end of it.) I'm embarrassed to admit I've not changed a lot in 5 decades. I've become pretty skilled at working around my Rebel (it's not really the most helpful trait in the world) & Rubin's book is an excellent tool. More remarkable is how skilled my partner is at handling that side of me in a way that doesn't trigger me (which is odd, considering he's got quite a Rebel side to himself). He's read the book too :-) I highly recommend it!

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    1. I can imagine you as a child, Susanne :) From your description, maybe I am a Rebel Lite, as I think I was quite 'good' (compliant) as a youngster.

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  6. Hi Ms. Fiona, I think the rebel is what makes your writing and writing course so good! You have a unique ability to get us questioning and moving! I am a questioner with strong rebel tendencies. So it makes perfect sense why your course works for me and I believe the other ladies as well. Seems to me you are a gentle rebel lady! Thanks for sharing this. Lovely picture.....Nanci Quinn

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    1. Why thank you Nanci, that's really nice to hear :)

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  7. I'm a questioner, SO not surprised,I want to know EVERYTHING!!
    Having said that, I'm excellent at doing hard,fast research and making a fast decision that I'm satisfied with.

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    1. It makes sense that when you have all the information in the world (lol) that you will be able to make a quick decision, Coral!

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    2. Well that was interesting! Mine came up questioner and I doubted it but then read her statement saying "and if you question this, you're proved you're a questioner." LOL Ok then. In my mind naturally I felt it was for those who do continually ask questions and make comparisons, but apparently my need to know how to best do things isn't perfectionist driven it's questioner driven. How can I best achieve what I want without spending too much money, without losing my momentum, etc. are all questions I frequently ask. So there we are. Questioner!

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  8. Unsurprisingly, rebel and happily so 😊 Love your books by the way.

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  9. I think I know already without taking the quiz that I'm a rebel: I don't want to take the quiz because I rebel against being labeled! Haha ;)

    D.

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    1. That is so funny, D. I did have the passing thought that a rebel wouldn't want to do the quiz :)

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  10. I am with anonymous! LOL! Mad at being labeled. Mad at myself for being impossible. Sometimes tired of trying to curb my petulance! Oh well, I'm glad to hear of others out there too. Come on, Fionna, teach us!!

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    1. Gosh, imagine a class full of rebels... trying to get us to listen would be a challenge :)

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  11. I really like the idea of the four tendencies (I used to listen to Gretchen's podcast 'Happier') but have never been able to figure out what I am, having had multiple attempts at the quiz and having gotten different results. I don't think it holds true for me, although I apply it to people I know with great effect!

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    1. Hi Jess, Just like you knowing what others are, perhaps you need to get someone else to do the quiz for you: they might see you more clearly?

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  12. Hi Fiona! When I saw "chic rebel' and the picture, I thought you were talking about your husband at first haha. Maybe the black t-shirt, I don't know. I am a questioner also. I still have to read the email she sent about it.

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    1. Haha, that's funny Carla. Those black tee-shirts, they get a bad rap!

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  13. I found the Four Tendencies framework and book so helpful I wrote a review of it on my blog a couple of weeks ago! I'm an Upholder and I think I found it most useful for understanding what makes other people tick and the best ways of communicating with other Tendencies, which is covered really well in the book. Rock on, Rebel!

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    1. Great minds, Lindsay! Yes, I'm really looking forward to finding out about others tendencies so that I can read about them too :)

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  14. I'm a rebel and have known that without a quiz since I was about 10. When I was in my early 20s, my boyfriend at the time knew I wanted to go back to school and also knew me....he encouraged me by telling me how hard it would be because he knew if he said I should do it, I wouldn't. LOL.

    I think I also have a secondary tendency toward obliger (but not even half as strong), and that it is something I grew into out of necessity as a wife and mom. As much as I do rebel, I also tend to do what's expected or asked or needed....eventually. And I do like to help people out.

    My daughter is also a rebel. Makes for some interesting dynamics in a household where my husband does not get it and refuses to believe that by telling or asking us to do something he's likely to get the opposite response.

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    1. I'm a bit like that too, Cindy. The rebel thing is definitely me, but I like to help people too, and will do something they ask of me. But if they try to tell me what to do, it's like there is this inner wall :)

      Your poor husband, tee hee. Maybe you need to get him to do the quiz, then read about rebels. And how insightful of your high school boyfriend!

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Merci for your comment. Wishing you a chic day!

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