Wardrobe Decluttering

The donation pile

In the journey around my house where I am decluttering and organizing little areas at a time, my wardrobe drawers came next.

I have three large drawers in my dresser where I keep my non-hanging clothes. Imagine my horror when I found a dead moth in the bottom of the drawer that holds my fine merino knit tops and jerseys. None of them were expensive, but still, I don’t want any holes in them!

In the winter I don’t wash my merino tops every time I wear them as I will always have something else on underneath and I think overwashing ages them quicker. But now it’s the end of the cold season here in New Zealand, I will do a dark wool wash and a light wool wash and have all my knits clean and ready for next year.

I also sprayed Yardley lavender liberally throughout my drawers and will sew up some lavender bags with dried lavender that I already have. Moths don’t like the smell and lucky for me I do. My drawers smell wonderful now.

Short-sleeve t-shirts and a few long-sleeve t-shirts with lots of lovely room to breathe!  Yardley Lavender spray stashed in the corner so I'll remember to use it.

In the process of sorting through my wool tops to wash, I tried a few on that I hadn’t worn much or at all and confirmed that they looked frumpy dumpy on me. That is not the look I am going for. I put them in a pile to donate. Since I won’t be donating for a week or so I don’t need to think too much about it. If I did I would probably put some back, but I know I’ve made the right decisions. If I’m dithering over getting rid of something, it probably means it needs to go.

I also sorted through my short sleeved t-shirts, long-sleeved t-shirts, active wear and home loungewear. Around the house I like to wear light-weight palazzo style pants and a coordinating t-shirt or singlet (vest) top in the summer.

Casual skirts and denim shorts, long-sleeve tops and empty space for merino tops once they are washed

One of the characters in the movie Sideways which we had on the other night was wearing satin floral drawstring pants with a lacy sleeveless top and little scuffs at home. My husband commented that it would be a nice home outfit for me and noted that silky and fine fabrics are very feminine and attractive for women. That helps me clean out some of the utilitarian but not very feminine clothes I have been wearing at home!

In my bedroom I took all three drawers out and put them on the floor, then stacked all the piles on my bed, quickly sorting through and refolding items I like and know look good on me. The ones that I don’t like and that don’t look as nice on me I put in a donate pile. After spraying my drawers with Yardley lavender I stacked everything back neatly, in piles where like is with like. All my woolens were put in the laundry basket.

Home lounge-wear, walking clothes and sleepwear

I was so happy to see that my folded tops did not even come halfway up the sides of my drawers. Having too many clothes is worse than having not enough clothes to me. And I know that someone else will enjoy my donations more than I do and probably look better in them as well.

One white cotton Ralph Lauren t-shirt that I was given as a gift I never felt good in because the neckline was very high and the sleeves were quite tight. The high neckline did not flatter my biggish bust and the sleeves made my arms look more sausage-like than they are. No-one needs that. So I googled ‘how to change t-shirt neckline’ and followed one girl’s instructions. It came out well!

I then cut off the sleeve hems and rolled/folded loosely the raw edge, tiny under the arm and half an inch on three folds at the top centre and tacked them with a couple of stitches in those two areas. I have a few other t-shirts where this has been done (by the manufactuers, not me) so it must be the thing at the moment. The white RL still isn’t my favourite t-shirt but it’s a vast improvement on what it was so I will keep it for now and see if I wear it this summer.

Remodelled white cotton RL t-shirt

So I now have a decent stack of donations (maybe a dozen items), winter knits to launder, check for holes and de-pill with my lint shaver and lovely, airy, roomy drawers. It really is a thrill getting dressed the next day when you do something like this.

I’m glad I enjoy a simple life and that it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

And meanwhile, in the living room... sleepy afternoon cats, with one fancy sofa each. Do you think ordering a three-seater for each cat was too much? I don't like to have them cramped.

Nina, showing that a paw is a good shield from bright sun

Jessica, sleepy dozing

A Simple Christmas

What excites me most right now is living a simple life, and decluttering and organising to aid in this quest. I’ve been doing this with many areas of my home and life as I come across them, and a few months ago I thought about Christmas.

Even though it is a time of year I look forward to, there are parts of it I don’t like. These things are others expectations and too many gifts. I know I can be a bit of a control freak and that’s what I’m working on, not being bothered by what other people want or do. I am going with the flow and know that the only person I can control is myself and also the way I deal with things.

I have issues with gifts because even though they are genuine and meant well, I find them stressful because if they are something I wouldn’t use or don’t like or will clutter my house, I feel like the person who has given me the gift has wasted their money, and being from thrifty Scottish stock that upsets me. My brother calls gifts ‘knick knacks and cloggers’ and tells us not to give him any. The way he says it always makes me laugh.

And I don’t believe you have to give gifts to show love for your family and friends. Little kids, yes, I know get excited about Christmas presents, but as we get older I am more than happy to receive not a single one and just spend time with the people I care about. Last year for the first time my brother, sister and I did not swap gifts and it didn't make Christmas any less special.

So I sat down to make a list of how I can have a simple Christmas and really enjoy this magical time of year. Here is my list.

How can I have a Simple Christmas?

1. Make a choice to have a simple Christmas
2. Make lists and look at ways to make them easier/less
3. No unnecessary rubbish
4. Don’t swap presents with those that agree
5. Leave time to recharge the batteries
6. From 1st December switch into Christmas mode – put the tree and decorations up, feel relaxed and Christmassy, watch Christmas movies and tv, don’t eat too much crap – eat good food and feel well
7. Don’t stress about what others will do – take them for who they are and be happy with that
8. Look at all my Christmas blessings – a wonderful husband, comfortable and happy home, loving family, financially stable, our own business that we happily run together
9. Think of others at Christmas that I can reach out to – (and I’ve got a few people listed).

I put our tree up today, and Jessica is posing with it above. She is such an obliging model-cat. Nina was too busy tearing around to stop for a photo. She never stops! Up and down the hall, in the cat-door and straight upstairs, s-shape from the dining area, down the hall and into the guest bedroom and many other routes. I wonder if it’s because she grew up from kitten-age in a crowded cat shelter until past the age of 2 with no room to run around – she’s really making the most of all this space with just her and Jessica now!

With my decluttering enthusiasm lately, I even managed to declutter my Christmas tree decorations. I tell you, there is no part of my home that escapes decluttering at the moment! I realised the purple decorations I bought a few years ago which I thought would zazz up my Christmas tree were a big mistake. I am not a purple girl. I am classics and I am neutrals.

So I took out all the decorations I love and put them in a smaller container and bagged up the purple hanging baubles and purple tinsel and put them with the coloured fairy lights. I donated these to a charity store today when I went out. When I want something gone, I want it gone.

Now my tree has every single Christmas decoration I own on it, in silver, gold and a touch of red, and white fairy lights. I also have a few decorative items around my coffee table candles and apart from these, just a small wreath in our entrance way (and I’m even a bit half-hearted about that so it could be donated soon). And that's the extent of my simple Christmas decorating.

I would love to hear any thoughts you might have about simplifying Christmas.

Saying Au Revoir to Magazines

The last of my magazines waiting to be read and donated

In my quest to simplify, I have come to realise that magazines do not currently have a place in the vision I have for my life. They have always been a bit of a love/hate thing for me. On the one hand I get excited to see the new glossy covers for the month and the possibilities that lie inside.

But on the other hand, all that gloss falls away literally as soon as I get home and I see that I have many others that look very similar, and I haven’t read them completely yet and it almost seems a chore to do so. When I do, it’s to get rid of them and I flick through searching for the odd good article but finding mostly ads and vacuous sound-bites that do nothing to improve the quality of my life.

I think I’ll find that one sentence or point of view that will change my life, make everything click into place but I never do, and I’ve realised I don’t need to. Everything I need to know is already inside me and will come out at the right time.

And I haven’t even mentioned the envy yet. The feeling of ‘not good enough’ and inadequacy I get from seeing a perfectly staged home in exactly the style I think I want, well, I am paying someone to make me feel this way?

What I need most is not stacks of magazines staring at me and taking up space, but the calm and serenity of an empty space, where those magazines once sat.

Even ordering the latest magazines from the library has lost its appeal, and that seemed like a perfect system when I found out about it. I can order in specific copies, and yes I might have to wait a couple of weeks, but I can still read them for free, and then return them after a fortnight.

Even this, the free, no-clutter magazine solution is not for me. Two weeks would almost be up and I hadn’t even opened them. So I’d spend the night before they were due back scanning them so I had ‘read’ them.

By their very nature, magazines are not the place to find information on living a simple and stress-free life, how to dress in a classic way and not buy new clothes all the time, how to not spend much and live frugally. Why? Because they are a vehicle to sell you things. Things that you didn’t even know you needed or wanted.

Having worked for a huge French cosmetic company before I became a self-employed shopgirl, I know that the editorial pages, where items are written about in an ‘impartial’ manner, are filled with the products of advertisers. If you don’t advertise then you will be unlikely to get promoted in the editorial pages.

So really, I have been paying for shopping catalogues all these years. Yes, I admit, I have torn a lot of good and interesting pages from magazines (just my own mind, removing library magazine pages should be a criminal offence) and these are in files that I periodically read. But I could have lived without them. And I am now on a quest to go through those files and bin a lot of the info, because it isn’t anything special. The rare diamond will go into the ‘keep’ pile. How is it that something you previously thought was fun has turned into work?

I have been working on thinning down my style files this week, and I would estimate at least 4/5 of what I had has gone into the recycling. It has been quite an illuminating exercise though. Much of the written information that was helpful at the time, I now do as a matter of course, and some magazine articles I look at and think ‘I could have written better myself’.

In the home-style file, it was fun to flick through all the images and easily see the ones that weren’t quite me, or might have been me a few years ago. Now I can see I just need to tweak the odd thing here and there in our home to achieve the style I am drawn to (I want to add a bit of shine to my decor to pretty up the rustic).

So my library magazine request list is down from a dozen titles to just one for now. I vow not to buy any magazines, not that that will be hard as I’m already not buying magazines. And the magazines I have designated as being keepers (the handful of Victoria magazines I have, as I find those very relaxing to read) I will be reading through one at a time, and donating.

Sure I’ll read through the odd one here or there if I’m passed them on, or if I’m in a waiting room. I’m not totally anti-magazine. However I know that doing this one thing of eliminating magazines for the most part will encourage peace and serenity in my daily life. I’d far rather read a book.

I feel like I am being quite ruthless and a little bit dramatic about it but you have to be. You have to decide how you want to spend your time because it is precious, and life is short. I want what I choose to be in my life, not any old twaddle that finds its way to my door.

I spent at least an hour on my last day off reading through house and garden and Vogue-type magazines so that I could donate them. I also spent a similar amount of time weeding in our garden. Crazy as it sounds, the weeding gave me much more satisfaction, and it was exercise at the same time. Not that I was doing cartwheels on the lawn, but getting up and down and moving around is better for you than sitting on your bum on the carpet wishing you didn’t have so many magazines to get rid of (yes, another first world problem as they say).

I’m doing really well with my decluttering (for those of us that naturally accumulate ‘stuff’ it may be a lifelong endeavour) but there are just those last few areas, like this one of magazines, that need to be dealt with. They are almost like a weedy patch that keeps sprouting up!

Just as there are ‘hotspots’ in your home that seem to become cluttered automatically and need constant vigilance, I think there can be genres or categories for each of us that require strictness to stop them getting out of control and adding stress to our life.

I hasten to add, please don’t think I am bagging magazines. Over the years they have been a great friend and have provided me with company and inspiration. But now, well, I think it’s time for my old friend and I to amicably part company.

Cultivating Calmness

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‘Make inner peace your highest goal and you will probably never make another mistake.’ – Brian Tracy

I heard this listening to an audiobook by my friend Brian Tracy when I was driving home from work a few days ago. I wrote it down at the next red light and put it in my little French Chic notebook when I got home. I have been repeating it to myself since I first heard it and it has been so helpful and comforting.

Getting worked up over little things always makes me feel awful and I know it’s not good for me, both mentally and physically. Now that I have taken on board to ‘make inner peace my highest goal', situations that I would have become quite annoyed with were simply smoothed over and I felt much better about everything afterwards even though ‘by rights’ I should have been bothered about something.

In an instance where I feel myself becoming peeved over a minor annoyance, I repeat the saying to myself and instantly feel transformed. Inner peace is a wonderful thing to strive for and I’m going to use Brian’s saying almost as my life motto.

I was at the supermarket just before, and I noticed I was overcharged for two items. I went to the customer services desk and was told I was wrong. I was sure I was right but after querying them a bit more and them telling me I could ring the toll-free number for their head office to check it out, I said I trusted them, and left the store.

I had planned to call the head office once I got to the car ‘for my own peace of mind’ to know if I was incorrect or they were. By the time I opened my car door I had been repeating my new mantra to myself and realised it wasn’t worth the $1.89 difference to me (even though I believe the saying that if you look after the pennies the pounds will look after themselves).

I could see me spending time on hold and getting myself all churned up talking to someone trying to prove I was right. It wasn’t worth it! Making inner peace my highest goal saved the day and I was calm as I drove home.

Last week I was reading about Kim Cattrell in an English magazine (Woman & Home, May 2013). She was being interviewed, among other things, about how incredible she looks for her age. This is what she said:

When I hit my forties I thought, ‘I can’t play a sexy siren any more.’ Almost 20 years later, it’s still going on. I think that’s because I take care of myself, which includes dieting, exercising and minimizing stress. I joke that I’ve been on a diet since 1974, which is basically true. I like to eat, and my body type is not naturally this thin, especially at this age. So I do watch what I eat and drink but I’m not obsessive – it’s just a way of life. So I don’t have dessert after every meal – I just can’t do it. I have a big appetite, and staying on top of that is about knowing myself and saying, ‘I can eat that today but tomorrow I’m not going to.’ And I’m always aware – from gaining and losing weight for parts – that the time in the gym trying to lose extra weight is really hard work! I always have that in my mind.

Apart from the fact that I was impressed with her honesty, I thought it was so interesting that she included reducing stress in her life as one of her keys to staying slim, healthy and youthful-looking.

You often hear celebrities talk about meditation and I even bought myself Meditation for Dummies which actually is a wonderful book. But I still would get all righteous and worked up over small injustices in daily life and the meditation book couldn’t fix that.

I always felt like I wanted everything to be fair. It was easy when I was the one who had to tell the truth, give back the wallet I found with $400 in it, own up to a mistake and all those sorts of things. But when it’s the other person who should be ‘giving in’, well, you can’t control that and it’s stressful when you try!

So as good as my meditation book was, it didn’t help me be calm in various situations. My ‘new life motto’ does. It helps me see the truth and live a peaceful life. It applies to any and every situation that I have tested it on so far and I am very thankful that I came across it.

Simple and Tidy

What I’m enjoying doing most right now is 'curating' my simple and tidy life. I have been spending five minutes here and five minutes there organizing a corner, decluttering magazines I have read and passing them on to someone else, using things up and appreciating all that I have.

I feel so grateful that I am now a homeowner, literally every day I feel that. On a stormy night when I can hear the rain on the roof, I say thank you for our house. When I walk in the door after work, I say thank you for our house. In New Zealand at least anyway, I know that so many are not able to purchase a home, pay it off and make it their own, so I know how truly lucky I am.

Yes, I work hard and try to spend my money wisely, but I also had a good start with loving parents, a stable home life and a wonderful childhood. Other people haven’t been so lucky.

Part of having gratitude for where I live and what surrounds me is to have airy, open rooms with just the right amount of stuff in them. I know straight away the areas that I don’t like, even when I am out of the house. It’s amazing how much power clutter has on you, when something can actually bother you even though you cannot see it or are not even physically near it.

Each night this week, I have been gathering bits and pieces I want to donate, and putting them on the guest bed (lucky it’s Queen-size). Once or twice a month I do a drop-off to a local charity shop.

I have also been using things up, such as body products and cosmetics. Little amounts left of body lotions I have mixed up into one pump container and now use this every day. I bore of scents quickly so it’s nice to have a ‘new’ one.

I also gathered up three favourite lipsticks that are now worn down flat and scraped them into a cleaned out Bobbi Brown sample pot (5ml or 7ml size, something like that). I then mixed in a liberal amount of Burts Bees lip balm (minty!) and stirred it all together in the pot with a clean skinny wooden stick (the type you get in manicure sets).

I now have a new sheer lipstick which I put on with a lip brush each morning, plus I got to throw out three lipstick tubes without feeling like I wasted anything.

Inspired by Patricia Volk’s description of her mother Audrey in the memoir ‘Shocked’, I pick up tiny bits off the carpet, rather than leave them there to bother me until I vacuum. Audrey would apparently ‘march a sesame seed off the floor to the rubbish bin’ and say to her daughter ‘it’s good exercise, bend from the waist’. I think of that now when I see a piece of cat fluff or a black speck or a tiny leaf. Plus, the carpet looks nicer between vacuum cleanings.

My sister is decluttering and organizing for a cleaned out, satisfying and serene life too. We have both been reading minimalist websites to fuel the desire to live with just enough. It’s an ongoing ‘first world problem’ (even though I can’t stand that saying!) that we have to be on constant vigilance against the ever-present clutter building up. And I’m not even a big shopper.

I know my message is a bit jumbled in this post – part gratefulness, part decluttering, but really when I think about it, the two go hand in hand. It is those that respect their possessions (and therefore are grateful for them) that move along items they are not using so that others may gain benefit from them.

A Simple and Easy Wardrobe Fix

Currently I rotate two pairs of jeans. All my others are a bit tight and I'm ok with that right now. Maybe I took the advice of an Italian boutique girl too literally when she told me to 'buy the tightest pair you can button'. If they are too tight I don't want to wear them!

So for now I'm enjoying alternating my two comfortable pairs. They are by Diesel and the style is Ronhoir (‘regular boot cut’). I tried on a million pairs of Diesel jeans at the time and these fitted me best around the waist and hips so I bought a blue wash and a dark-ish brown blue wash in the same style.

You may already know that Diesel jeans are not cheap, and in the past I’ve been a cheap jeans wearer. Well, I took my husband’s advice that ‘jeans are worth spending money on’ and now I am a convert too. I love their comfort and how they look on me, but I always coveted a straight or skinny pair.

Our Diesel shoes sales rep told me he knows of people who have taken their jeans in successfully. At the time I thought to myself, I’m not going to pay ‘that’ much on jeans and then cut them up, but after quite some time had passed and my jeans weren’t brand new anymore (even though they have kept their shape beautifully and still look good) I decided to give it a go.

This is how I did it. It was such a great success that I did my second pair just the same, and I’ve been loving them ever since. It’s easy if you have a sewing machine, or a tailor could do it in not too much time (so not too much cost). It’s the best wardrobe fix ever if you have jeans that you like the fit but want to update the leg.

I washed them and then turned inside out. I unpicked the hems right round and ironed flat. Then I laid the jeans out on the carpet and actually pinned them onto the carpet, to keep them flat and smooth. I took them in on the outside seam, because that seam did not have top-stitching on the outside, whereas the inside seam did.

I ruled a straight line from just below where the pocket/outside seam topstitching ended (about mid-thigh) to the bottom hem fold line, where I had marked about 1.5 inches in. I initially tried 2 inches in from the outside seam (that's double overall, as there is two inches on each side) but when I did a tacking stitch line to try them on they were too tight. I didn’t want them to look like leggings.

You don’t have to be too perfect about it, especially if there’s a bit of stretch in the denim. My first pair was a hand-drawn line pinned, and it looks the same as my second pair where I got more perfect with a pinned out tape measure to give me a straighter line.

After you’ve stitched your seam, zig-zag or overlock and then trim the fabric off. Try on along the way before you commit to the seam finishing and trimming. Next, simply flip the hem back up again and stitch around (it will go up easily since the folds were there to start with, just make sure you match the fold lines when you pin and stitch).

If you are like I was you will get an excited feeling in your tummy that you have a new and stylish (and sexy!) pair of jeans in place of your previous nice but slightly boring and mumsy ones. No purchase or decluttering necessary.

This simple change has made a huge difference to my current uniform of either an ironed blouse/shirt or knit top/t-shirt with my ‘new’ jeans and either heels or ballet flats. I feel more gamine and youthful and French and chic, and who doesn’t love that.

Today I have them rolled up to a) to feel summery and b) so I don’t get dark blue denim marks on my red suede Clarks ballets.

Here are some images from asos.com of the original leg shape, on a lovely model of course. Another bonus of taking the legs in is that my two pairs were never quite long enough, because the store did not have the longer leg length. With a narrower leg that doesn't matter so much and now they are perfect for me.

Ask Three Questions

I often struggle with small talk. I know it’s the grease that smoothes comfortable interaction between two people, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I don’t just want to talk about clichéd rubbish, but how do you start a conversation?

Like a lot of people, I am quite shy about talking to others in certain situations. We all fear being judged or laughed at for saying something silly. Whenever someone I talk with is naturally interesting and charming, I try to analyse what it is about that person that makes them so easy to talk with. And of course see if I can emulate it in the future!

I read something interesting the other day. It was in an article about a women with a school-aged son with autism. She was teaching him how to engage well with others, and was training him to ask someone three questions before he spoke about himself.

This advice has stuck with me because I’ve not heard it so clear cut before. I know it’s more polite to ask after others than to talk about yourself, but for some reason I have thought about this lady’s advice quite a lot.

Remembering back to different conversations I have had with people, it is the people who ask more questions than talk about themselves that I seem to like more, and that is because it makes them seem interested in you.

I have tried the Three Questions technique a few times now, and am happy to report that it works! Plus the bonus is that it’s an easy thing to remember. More often than not, before you get to three questions, a conversation is sparked off and you’re away anyway, no struggle or awkward silence necessary.

I have been reluctant to ask questions in the past as I have not wanted to seem nosy, but there are plenty of open-ended questions you can use that are friendly and interested, not rude and cheeky.

Part of making this technique a success, and any form of interaction with others really, is to be aware of subtle cues as to whether someone is uncommunicative. It’s awful to watch a conversation where one party is uncomfortable or bored rigid and the other is blathering on not even noticing if they are being heard or not.

I really, really hope I am not like that and it’s something I am constantly working on. When in doubt, stop talking and just listen, or enjoy a little bit of quietness for a minute or two!

I use the Three Questions technique in the shop too when I am serving customers, whether I know them well or have just met them, and it seems to make the whole serving experience more normal and natural.

I’m like a mystery shopper everywhere I go now. As I have shopping experiences I look at the person serving me and see how I am treated and if I can either take some tips from it if it’s good, or avoid being like that it if it’s bad.

I do know that I am always really flattered if a shop assistant asks me a question, beyond of course the annoying, chirpy ‘how are you today, got any plans later on, is it your day off’ all in a row. If there’s nothing actually to chat about, I am happy with eye contact and a smile, and I try to remember that when I am serving.

Have you ever had an experience where a shop assistant just won’t shut up? Ghastly! The thought of possibly being that person keeps me quiet, or else I ask a (pertinent and not too nosy) question and just listen.

The image above is Paris in 1914, borrowed from dailymail.co.uk