It’s all very well feeling empowered by our chic ‘good vibes’ when we are in our own environment, one that we have total control over such as our home. However what can we do to protect ourselves when we are in a work environment and it’s an unhappy and oppressive atmosphere, and changing jobs is not an option?
A reader who feels that her ‘chicness feels secondary to survival right now' has asked me this, so I’ll do my best to offer some tips and ideas to get you through the day. Thinking back to different jobs I’ve held, some were fine and some had awful people who made the day-to-day not so pleasant.
Look to myself first
Firstly I’d make sure that I was beyond reproach. I admit I do find it hard to get motivated at times, so if I’m being frothy and pretty but not doing my work then others have every right to be grumpy with me. I’m not saying anyone else is guilty of this, but I was. So whenever I was feeling put upon I’d look to myself first to see if there was any way I was contributing.
Along the same lines, I’d also ask myself if I was gossiping, complaining or being passive aggressive. Again, I’d turn the spotlight onto myself and choose to take the high road by being respectful, pleasant and 'staying in my own lane' (minding my own business).
Create a safe bubble
Next I would work on creating a safe bubble where I could do my work, protect my energy and go home at the end of the day ready for a relaxing evening. I would not let my evening be ruined by a draining day at work that I'd let come home with me. I’d remind myself that when people are not nice it says more about them than it does about me. I'd also not let them take any extra time from me. If I'm still chewing over something later on at home they are stealing my peace there as well.
Unhappy people often take it out on someone else. When I tell myself this (and it certainly is true) it always makes me feel better. Even though I work with my husband now and we run our own business, we still may encounter an unhappy supplier or customer and they really used to get me down.
Of course I'd try and help them out but sometimes I'd just have to step back and know that nothing I could do would make them happy and that it’s just how they are. That takes the pressure off me to try and ‘fix’ everything, because I can be a bit of a control freak and if someone is not happy I want to help them – sometimes even if they don’t want it! (I am learning… slowly).
Incorporate things that make you feel good
In her email to me, our reader said that perusing my blog gives her hope when she is lunching at work. I do this too – if I’ve had an encounter that has drained my energy or made me feel bad I raise my vibration either by telling myself a better story or I’ll go online and read one of my favourite uplifting blogs.
When I’m out walking or travelling home on the bus like I sometimes do, I listen to positive and informative podcasts. Before I had an iPod I’d always have a favourite small book in my bag – Anne Barone’s books went to and from work countless times with me when I worked in an office and would bus into the city every day. In my lunch break I’d go out for a half hour stroll, buy my sushi and come back to my desk to eat it (my desk was preferable to the food hall). I’d read something inspiring whilst eating and be ready for the second half of my day.
Having a little stash of items like makeup, perfume, handcream and chewing gum for fresh breath in my bag always helps me feel more pulled together and ready for anything. I’d always touch up after lunch.
Have a high vibration
All of these things lead to raising your vibration and you know you have a high vibration when you feel good. I believe people can sense your vibration, just as you get a vibe from others. Some people can be energy bullies without realising (just giving them the benefit of the doubt here) and if your energy is low they may feel justified in attacking you in small or big ways.
By doing everything possible to keep your vibration high you are more protected from these people. Being healthy and happy goes a long way towards a high vibration so look after yourself and think good thoughts.
You can choose
And finally, at the end of the day it’s your choice about the circumstances you find yourself in. You can weigh up whether it’s worth it for you to stay in this situation and make the most of it, knowing that you won’t be there for the rest of your life, or you can say to yourself ‘I’m really unhappy and I’m going to make plans to transition into something else’. Making that decision can bring incredible coincidences into play and just putting it out there can start things off.
Make a list of your ideal working environment and read it often, and, why not expand it out to your ideal lifestyle? I’m done this myself and can see things slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) shifting to match that picture I’ve painted for myself. It’s both exciting and empowering (and sometimes a bit scary) knowing that I am in complete charge of my life, even if it doesn't feel like it at times.
I’d love to hear any thoughts my lovely readers might have on thriving in spite of an ongoing non-ideal work (or other) situation – please do share your collective wisdom. Even if you think it’s just a tiny thing it could spark off a life-changing thought for someone else. You may think I'm overstating this but it's true, sometimes I've heard a brief snippet that has given me a great idea that I have put into action and it's changed my trajectory (for the better!).