Sunny days ahead (after the clouds have passed)

{Beautiful flowers from my lovely neighbour Anna ❤️ I love dahlias!}

 

Hello friends 😊

Every week is a new chapter around here, I tell you.

A few days after my previous post my left underarm (the biopsy side) became very sore and swollen and I thought I’d overdone my lymphatic arm exercises.

Then I noticed the skin becoming pink, then red, and the breast cancer specialist physio I had an appointment with that day said I needed to see a doctor for antibiotics NOW.

I started the medicine straight away but it stayed terrible, so painful! On Saturday morning Paul took me to the Emergency Department at our local hospital and they admitted me, saying I’d likely have to have surgery for an ‘infected seroma’ which is ‘serious but not uncommon’ after biopsy surgery.

Thankfully I did not end up having surgery, instead having a needle aspiration with a L O N G needle (thank goodness for lots of local anaesthetic and a very skilled radiology doctor). Plus IV antibiotics and strong pain meds.

They were happy to let me go yesterday and it was so nice to come home and see the doggies and Ninacat.

And yes I do see the irony: I spent twice the amount of time in hospital for this infection than for my original breast cancer surgery!

:: PRIVATE INSTAGRAM ::

As if that wasn’t enough, I’ve had some kind of bot attack on my Instagram account, and my followers have increased by over 2,000 in the last week or so, with a ton of silly bot comments.

There is no other way to deal with them than to delete each account individually 😢 And if I don’t, Instagram might think I’ve bought followers and delete my account.

So I’ve had to temporarily make my Instagram account private (to stem the flow, haha) while I tidy up this crazy mess.

If the worst happens and my account is deleted, you can find all my links at fionaferris.com

Go find me there now and bookmark it just in case you lose me on IG😮

So yes, it’s been quite the drama-filled week or two. Onwards and upwards though, and I’m SO happy to be back at home and on the mend.

I hope you had a calmer week than I did, and all my best to you!

x Fiona

Excellent news - something to celebrate

 

Hello friends,

I’ve had a big week! The first and most exciting thing is that I found out I am NOT having chemotherapy.

When Paul and I met with the oncology doctor last Tuesday, she put all my information into a fancy online calculator called ‘Predict’, specifically for breast cancer.

It shows the percentage likelihood someone will still be alive after 15 years (the longest the calculator could calculate) and then you could toggle treatments on and off to see the difference each made.

I’m still having radiation and also doing hormone therapy (a medicine called Letrozole – for five years!) but these both have ‘minimal’ side effects apparently.

Of course we all know about how horrible chemotherapy is, even if it’s just anecdotally or even from the movies.

Well, apparently I would only receive a 1% better benefit from having chemo, and because it’s so hard on the body, they only strongly recommend it when there is a 5% or more benefit.

The doctor almost seemed giddy when she was showing me my results that she already knew. I wondered why she was so peppy when we came into her office!

Of course no-one knows what the future will bring, but for now, I’m a happy person. I walked out of there feeling light as air, with that ‘let out of school early’ feeling.

Suddenly, a week of radiation and five years of medicine seem like nothing 😊 So I wanted to share that amazing news.

My mum took me to Craggy Range winery for lunch the next day to celebrate (Paul was so sad he was working that day), and we hosted English relatives for dinner on Friday night. 

 

 

 

They are only here until next week, so we couldn’t put it off until I could do more to help, so Paul did EVERYTHING. All the cooking, cleaning, and dishes. He is a good cook too ❤️

And my mum and aunty brought dessert.

I set the table and took a nap, that’s all! 😉

Our guests brought me these pretty flowers and fancy chocolate.

 

 

 

And just look what a kind, thoughtful reader sent me - a gift voucher for Fortnum & Mason to order teas to sip on as I recuperate.

 

 

 

They arrived this week. I am so humbled at this generous gift, thank you Ann! It’s all been delicious so far 😊

 

 

 

 I hope you all had a lovely week too!

xx Fiona

Personal style as a tool to feel better

 

Hello friends,

Here I am heading out for family dinner at my aunty’s place ❤️💙

I love red with blue denim! Although it was so rainy and chilly - NOT like summer at all - that I got to wear my new burgundy/plum/oxblood ankle boots earlier than planned.

I have been stalking these boots since I saw them at the end of last winter and got them on sale after Christmas (recuperating at home by online shopping 🤣) and now have them ready for my autumn wardrobe.

I felt like journalling about a capsule wardrobe this morning and then was inspired to create a summer capsule, 21 pieces as per chapter 5 of my book 'The Chic Closet'.

I decided on a blue and white theme incorporating denim and navy, and then added a touch of sand/gold/beach to warm things up.

I came out with a good selection of jeans, tops/blouses, trousers and dresses, and ended up at 27 pieces which I am happy with. I have a good selection to choose from and am excited to get to wear my 'new' capsule collection even though I didn't buy anything. It feels new to me!

And in other news, I am getting back to myself. Still moving very slowly, not driving for a bit, maybe for another week or two. I am the diva passenger being chauffeured around 😊 Paul mostly takes me places and my mum has too.

I thought it was funny, my 78-year-old mother driving me to the library instead of the other way around. I often see older ladies being walked around the supermarket with one of their children helping them get their groceries. Instead it’s me getting the help 😊

And I meet with the oncology doctor next Tuesday to discuss chemo. It’s all so surreal! Like I’m watching this happen to someone else. Perhaps it’s healthy to have a sense of detachment and unreality…

In any case, I just have to keep telling myself it’s all preventative, the cancer is gone now. And if I have to grow some new hair it’s a small price to pay for future safety.

Thank you again for the continuing emails and messages, I truly appreciate them.

xx Fiona

PS. ‘The Chic Closet’ on Kindle, in paperback, and audiobook too here at my Amazon affiliate link here. 
 

 

My lab results - if you are interested :)

{Beautiful flowers delivered by a kind neighbour 💚}

 

Hello friends,

I have news! It's mostly good 😊

First off, from my lab results this week, the surgeon got all the cancer and the margins were clear, plus there was nothing in my lymph nodes. I am very happy with this, as you can imagine.

However, the tumour, though small, was grade 3, which is the most aggressive kind. I'm just so lucky it was picked up on a routine mammogram as I wouldn't have known it even existed otherwise.

So the cancer is all gone, but because of the grade, as a preventative measure for the future, I will likely have chemotherapy as well as radiation. I'll meet with our hospital's oncology department in a month or so once I am fully healed from surgery.

Apparently the chemo is done in six doses over four months, every three weeks or so.

Then radiation. Then hormone treatment (medication).

So. It's still big and I am trying not to focus on all of that. I am trying to keep bringing my mind back to healing, calmness, living in today, no cancer present anymore, and the surgery is behind me.

I haven't been writing much but I've been journalling, and reading (two books a week currently!) I would love to put my experience into a book because I think it would be helpful for others in my position to read. Or even if someone has a friend or family member going through a similar thing.

It's all very surreal though. But, it's like anything in life, you deal with it as it comes up. You go to appointments and do what needs to be done and put one step in front of the other. Just follow the path that thousands of other ladies have been on.

There are lots of things to be grateful for, and the lab results showed that my kind of cancer was the hormone positive/HER negative type which is the most common, and they know how to treat it.

That's what I was told: it is 'serious but treatable' so I just have to trust that. My surgeon also said that the grade 3/chemo news is 'a tiny negative'. If I have to have a negative, tiny is good.

Keep well my friends, and I wanted to update you. I so appreciate all the kind messages, emails, and comments. More than you can ever know 😊

xx Fiona

Rest and recovery - apparently it's necessary :)

 

Hello friends :)

Popping in for a little update! It’s now 2.5 weeks since my surgery, and I have to be honest, it’s harder than I thought it would be.

I expected to be feeling back to normal by now, but I’m not. Every day is hard. Sometimes hard-hard and sometimes easy-hard.

I’ve had setbacks such as a big bleed while Paul was at work last week, and the pain has been okay some days and quite uncomfortable on others.

So yeah, not the cheeriest of posts, but it is what it is. I’m learning to be patient, go with it, rest a lot and just... wait.

My dad always said never to wish my life away so I’m trying not to!

This is a really important time for anyone who has had surgery, the healing time, so I need to remember that and not conveniently forget and think I’m okay to drive (that was a mistake), or go for a walk around the park (also not good).

Even though I am a relaxed and calm person (or I try to be), I am also someone who is always on the go, so it feels strange to do... nothing.

But nothing is what I must do, along with hydrate, get good nutrition, and move a little sometimes (I’m still walking laps of our house multiple times a day). 

 

 

 

I know this too shall pass, like any difficult time, and by not fighting it now, I will make it easier for myself later on. Because that’s what I was doing in my mind, fighting what is, and it got me nowhere.

I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but that’s the energy I was giving.

So now is for healing and resting. Looking after myself and not trying to be a hero.

I meet with my surgeon next Tuesday for lab results. Let’s hope everything is good and clear.

If you are going through a hard time right now, whatever the flavour, I feel for you. It’s not an easy thing to. And the future uncertainty is also a factor that plays on your mind.

All we can do is make the best of this day and treat ourselves well, which probably applies to anyone, because life is not exactly easy these days!

But I also know when I choose to wallow in the yuck, it just brings me further down. And when I choose to think of the good stuff and make fun plans, that feels much better.

Hugs to you!

x Fiona

PS. This book was wonderful. So heartwarming and funny. Here on Amazon. 

 

 

 

(My link is ‘Amazon affiliate’ which doesn’t change the price, but I may receive a small compensation. If you choose to use my links for any purchases you might be making I am grateful :)

Happy and healthy new year :) To all of us!

 

This is how you fit three dogs and one person on a single bed :) Amazingly they arranged themselves like that. A perfect lineup!

If you don’t know the doggies, from L to R they are Chloe (12), Daphne (10), and Micky (14).

For the first two nights home while I still had drains in, I slept in this bed (without dogs, they just join me during the day). Thankfully now I am free of the drains and back in our own bed.

And I am so glad to be home! I haven’t been far, just from bed to sofa to bed to other sofa to bed, and I go for walks outside circling the house multiple times a day to keep my circulation healthy.

Paul walks with me in case I fall over :)

At night I wear compression stockings, which are fun to get on 😊 Maybe one day I’ll get to wear them on a flight and go on holiday. That would be nice, something to look forward to!

My satin loungewear pajamas have come into their own at the moment, they are my all-day clothes. I switch between my black and hot pink sets. 

 

 

 

I have just about finished the excellent Camino Island series by John Grisham, with only a handful of pages to go in the final book (here on Amazon if you are interested), and I’ve read ALL the library magazines on Libby on my iPad haha.

Plus I’ve been writing inspiration in my journal (and the pink folder in the top photo).

Sometimes I like loose leaf paper for the freedom of writing what I want. I can move previous pages to the front of the folder if they are inspiring to me at a certain time.

All the reading and writing is in between naps of course. I’ve had a LOT of naps too, often before dinner. 

 

 

Head nurse Nina overseeing her patient

 

So I’m slowing getting back to normal after my surgery (today is one week).

For the past couple of days I’ve put a little makeup on, just because I felt like it.

Although on makeup day two what I thought was taupe eyeliner I actually applied pinky-beige lipliner to my eyes. I didn’t realise until I’d finished the second eye.

Oh well, pile on the mascara and do better tomorrow!

And now it’s New Year’s Eve, in New Zealand at least. I certainly won’t last until midnight but I do plan on having a glass of champagne, we have Veuve Clicquot in the fridge 😊

Sante! And all the best to you my friends!

xx Fiona

PS. Find out where to read or listen to my books at fionaferris.com, or click the images below (I use Amazon affiliate links which doesn’t change the price, but I may receive a small compensation. If you choose to use my links for any purchases you might be making I am grateful!)

 

 

 

 

Out of hospital :) I made it!

 

Hello friends!

 

I made it! This was my Christmas Day, 24 hours post breast cancer surgery.

I can’t tell you how happy I am to have my operation in my rear-view mirror, and I’m sure it’s because I was given the good drugs, haha, but the pain hasn’t been too bad either. So grateful for that.

I couldn’t have picked a better time to be in hospital with the special festive meals (see my menu). Everything was extra cheery with decorations for miles, festive scrubs on the staff, and even though us patients were hobbling around, it had a nice atmosphere. 

 

 

 

I got a bit bored in my room so while doing my walks I found a sunny spot in the elevator bay, with views over the hospital carpark :)

 

 

 

I’ve been enjoying John Grisham, he accompanied me to my sunroom reading sessions (Camino Island series: Amazon affiliate link). I accidentally read the third book first, then got books 1 and 2 for my recuperation. Currently on the ‘final’ book 2 and they are excellent stories. I thought John Grisham was more an author for men and only did legal stuff, but apparently not so!

I came home yesterday after two nights, and feel good in myself. The surgery went well, and I find out more in a couple of weeks when I meet up again with my surgeon and the lab tests have been completed.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but I really do feel quite ‘normal’ considering what I’ve been through. I know other surgeries are bigger, but mine was still 3-4 hours long, and involved both sides (cancer on one side and symmetrisation on the other, which just means making them the same size :)

It’s SO nice to be home, although excited doggies had to be kept away from mum not to knock anything!

I slept in our guest room last night in a single bed since I still have drains on both sides and they could drape down either side of the bed, and also so any pets wouldn’t climb on me in the night.

Daphne was determined though and broke in this morning when I was getting up. She pushed the door open haha but luckily Paul was hot on her heels!

So this is just a little update, and to say THANK YOU for all the lovely messages, emails and comments. You are so kind and I appreciate every word.

xxxxxxx Fiona