The ups and downs of life, and how to feel better

 

Hello friends,

Last week was a funny week, up and down, and it was all to do with my lymphedema. I don’t feel like it’s getting better, and things just felt on top of me and overwhelming. Hence, I haven’t been in touch. I’ve just been doing home stuff and not much that’s creative.

I’ve been feeling really down about it but I know low moods pass. They’re like clouds in the sky. At that moment it felt really cloudy and just too heavy for me.

I did a few admin tasks with my healthcare providers, and decided that had to be enough.

I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, except to say that life isn’t always sunny, even though we’ve had beautiful sunny winter days here lately. I enjoyed my outdoor walks each day, so I guess all I can do is look for the good things.

❤️ A sunny walk after a frosty start.

❤️ A good swimming session .

❤️ Reading (and please don’t laugh!) Sweet Valley High books. I bought a vintage retro lot on Trade Me (New Zealand’s version of eBay), and I’m revisiting my early teens. It’s very comforting right now. They were my favourite books back in the early to mid-1980s. I couldn’t love the pastel covers more. And my sister found me the first 12 books of Sweet Valley Twins at a thrift store. Such fun!

 

Reading makes me happy :)

So things are what they are. Life isn’t always wonderful. But I know the clouds will move on. Apart from the lymphedema, I’m otherwise healthy, and I have so many other good things to be grateful for too.

I had a lovely weekend. The coffee ladies came to my place on Saturday. I had the fire going, and made a ‘Devils Food’ chocolate cake before they arrived. It was a Betty Crocker mix, but I used butter and milk instead of oil and water, along with the eggs.

Being around other people was just the tonic to help me forget about things for a few hours and just be a normal person again, instead of getting too much in my head, overthinking everything, and letting it all press down on me.

Yay for that :)

~~

 

{Winter vines in our street}

A big help to me feeling better is to focus on my mindset.

There are days when I feel really good and have a happy day. And then there are days when it all gets too much and I feel weighed down. Nothing has changed between those two days except my thoughts.

I don’t know if my lymphedema will be permanent. No one knows, not even my surgeon or breast cancer physiotherapist. It’s an unknown thing.

So why am I getting myself down by telling myself that it will be?

In the beginning, I told myself it was only temporary and that things would work out. It felt much better to say that to myself than, ‘I’m going to be stuck like this forever. It’s going to get worse.’

Yes, there is a chance it could be permanent, but there’s also a chance it could resolve.

One friend wore her compression sleeve for two years, fifteen years ago. She told me her arm is still a little larger than the other, but it’s not something she thinks about day-to-day. She doesn’t wear compression anymore and it’s not an issue.

Things like that give me hope. And why shouldn’t that be me too?

So the clouds have passed in my mind. There are still a few around, but I’m not looking at them. I’m looking at the blue sky.

I’m telling myself positive statements too, which helps me take positive action. It’s all heading towards feeling empowered, rather than feeling helpless.

Wow, that positive mindset stuff really works, Fiona. Who knew!

That’s why I love mindset work so much, and why it’s woven throughout every single one of my books. It really does allow you to create a good life and feel better when you’re going through the hard times.

And we all have hard times.

My dad’s eight-year anniversary of passing is today. We all had lockdown in 2020. In 2023, our area was hit by a cyclone and flooding, and people died. And 2026 is my cancer recovery year.

There’s been a lot of big things to take action on, and I can stay in a helpful mindset.

So I’m here today to say I’m feeling better.

And if you need this post, I hope it’s helpful for you.

All my love,

xx Fiona

 

 

 

 [My book links lead to Amazon US and they are affiliate, which means I may earn a small commission, but the price doesn’t change for you. I appreciate it if you choose to use my links if you are purchasing anything!]

Living well without spending a lot - my favourite way to live :)

 

Greetings from a sunny, crispy cool day at Ahuriri Beach for another lovely dog walk 😊

Daphne and Chloe have their coats on. Micky still refuses to wear one 🤣 I tried it again at home just before we left and he took two steps in it and promptly sat down until I took it off him 😂

The sun was so pretty sparkling on the water like diamonds. I thought it was just in that particular spot but as I walked along the path the diamonds followed me... that’s when I saw that they’d always be there, it was the sun, not that piece of water 🤣 I do worry about myself sometimes! 

 

 

 

But still, being followed by sparkly diamonds is quite nice.

Paul spends half his life waiting for Micky to sniff the grass, trees, rubbish bins. There is so much a little dog needs to explore, and tussock, that’s his favourite.

 

 

 

And of course, we let Micky take all the time he needs to thoroughly check everything out since he’s an older boy and we want him to enjoy his golden years.

I love seeing the shag birds on the branch sticking out of the rock at sea. They often hold their wings open to dry them and it’s so cute to see. Of course, no-one was drying their wings today when I wanted a photo 😂

 

 

 

In the photo below you can just make out snow on the hills in the distance. There were children swimming in the sea, can you believe that when even the air temperature was chilly let alone the water? Kiwi kids are hardy creatures!

 

 

 

I love activities that are enjoyable and don’t cost anything, and that’s what these doggie waterfront walks are for us.

 

 

 

It just costs a bit of petrol to get there (I know, petrol prices, hardly a ‘free’ outing 😂) and if we can resist the cafes we’re good. The food and drinks always look so appealing, and the thought of whiling away an hour or two looking out at the view does too.

Can you imagine us turning up with three dogs though? We’ve already been turned away from one place, and that was when we only had two dogs. They wouldn’t even allow us on the outdoor terrace!

Oh well, home for a yummy healthy lunch and homemade latte 😊

 

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Yay, the audiobook is finished!

I really do enjoy recording my audiobooks, and I’m so happy you all told me that you didn’t like the professional lady who did my first audiobook and you only wanted ME 🤣

Maybe I’ve discovered my calling... being an audiobook narrator. Well for my own books at least 😊

‘Life Is Good’ is now available as an eAudiobook in my eStore here.

And within the next few weeks it will filter through to Audible, they always take a bit longer. I see it’s already available on Spotify. If you have Spotify Premium you should be able to listen to it for free.

And, you can ask your library to order it in!

I get so excited seeing one of my paperbacks or audiobooks on a library platform.

I have a few more audiobooks that haven’t been done yet so I will complete ‘The Chic Author’ and also my blog books too.

I hadn’t done ‘The Chic Author’ yet because I thought I might update it, but I’ve since decided to leave it as an early snapshot.

For an update, I have outlined a new author-sequel book.

I have so many good ideas for new books!

That must really mean I’m feeling better.

Hoorah for that!

Happy listening 😊 

 

~~

 

 

 

Winter skies on my walk earlier this week 😊

I have had a few enquiries about paperback copies of ‘Life Is Good’ for readers in New Zealand, and I’m happy to send out signed copies.

In New Zealand dollars they are $25 each, with postage being $8 (or $14 for rural delivery).

I’ve ordered ten copies from Amazon Australia (the closest printing facility to me), and can get more if necessary.

Please message or email me if you’re interested.

But apart from that I am keeping cosy, and mapping outlines for new books. I have three hatching, and think I know which one will come next ❤️

And, I went swimming! I’ve been going once a week to a local heated pool and it’s great for my lymphedema as well as general fitness and gentle cancer rehab.

I was advised to avoid school holidays, haha, it would be a ZOO there! So I had two weeks off and it was nice to be back this past week.

Plus my outdoor walk each day plus I’m doing yoga once a week plus 2-3 half-hour strength workouts each week.

It sounds like a lot but it doesn’t feel like it. I just go for a walk each day and do some other activity five days a week.

I’m really excited about taking care of my body who has been through so much. I’m still getting there but feeling stronger all the time. And more healed!

It’s definitely a long road though (this picture is appropriate!), much longer than I thought it would be.

But that’s okay. I have time. It’s the ultimate slow living lesson.

I hope you’re having a great weekend 😊

xx Fiona

PS. To find all my links in one place you can always go to fionaferris.com (And my Amazon link is affiliate, thank you if you choose to use it!) 

 

New book out now - Yes, Life Is Good :)

 

Hello friends,

I am thrilled to announce the premiere of my latest book ‘Life Is Good’ 🌺

If you’ve been in my world lately, you’ll know that I’ve been through some stuff. Breast cancer specifically. And I ended up writing a book about it!

Please listen:

I promise you will really, really enjoy this book, even though it’s about cancer.

It’s not dry or a medical textbook (which is just as well since I’m not a doctor). What it is, is an honest, uplifting, and funny account of what it’s really like to go through breast cancer treatment.

There were many crazy moments and I’m sharing them all with you (even the ones that I wondered whether to or not… you’ll see 🤣)

Kindle is available right now, and the paperback in a few days (just keep an eye out for it at the same link).

For an Amazon alternative, you can order the eBook from my eStore too.

All my links are at fionaferris.com.

I’m now getting cracking on the audiobook. Just gotta limber up those vocal chords, it’s been a while since I have recorded one.

I hope you really enjoy this book, I’m actually quite proud of it 😊

---

And I’ve been keeping things cosy here while many of you are sweltering. This morning was a sub-zero frost and it’s still only 4 degrees (39F) nearing 9am.

Micky dog is still in bed under his blanket. He’s definitely slowed down in the past few months now that he is 14, but I’ve never known him to sleep in so long. I did check he was still breathing! 

 

 

To make a little fun for myself I’ve been indulging in Christmas in July, along with a dash of self-care. I’ve been leaning on my self-care practices even more at the moment. In no particular order, here are my current favourites 😊

❤️ Reading books. I just finished ‘Dandelion is Dead’, by Rosie Storey: 4.5/5 for me. Loved the story, and the British sense of humour. There were a few too many back and forths before the ending so not a 5/5 but still a solid ‘would recommend’.

❤️ Sipping my morning latte. (always in a Starbucks cup!) I make a stronger brewed pot of filter coffee and then use it like cold brew – half a cup of coffee and half a cup of whole milk, heated in the microwave. It’s my version of the ‘no foam, extra hot’ latte I used to order at Starbucks ✨

❤️ Going for a walk. Always with an audiobook or podcast. I’m 3/4 through Emma Grede’s ‘Start With Yourself’ and am thoroughly enjoying it. And before that, ‘The Storm Sister’, the second Seven Sisters book was incredible. They are such involved, high-quality stories (almost 20 hours long on audiobook!) that it boggles my mind how someone can write such amazingness. We do have a treadmill but I prefer walking outside with the fresh air and soothing colours of nature.

❤️ Feeling cozy. It’s nice to rug up in the winter with fluffy socks and a warm jumper, but I like feeling cozy in the summer equally. It’s all about the softness of fabric. Washed cotton tee-shirts, soft linen, fine satin loungewear pants. And feeling clean too: just-washed hair, moisturised skin and a pretty body mist.

❤️ Being my own cheerleader. I’ve felt down during my recuperation more so than usual, so I’ve been calling upon my inner cheerleader regularly. She reminds me that life is still good, I’ve already come so far, most complications are only temporary, and oh, let’s go and do something fun.

Let me know your favourite, and please share your favourite self-care practice right now 😊

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Wishing you a wonderful weekend whatever you’re doing. And Happy 4^th of July to my American friends!

And I’d also like to say, thank you for being there with me. Even though I haven’t been online as much, I’ve felt the care and the love. It means a lot.

xx Fiona

PS. My Amazon links are affiliate, but it makes no different to the cost. I do appreciate it if you choose to use my links, as always ❤️

 

Focusing on the positive

 

Dear friends,

I’ve been so down in the dumps and fed up with my ongoing lymphedema and post-radiation complications, that I posted an update on Instagram three weeks ago and completely forgot to copy it over to Substack and this blog (I post the same on both).

You can read my missing post here on Instagram to catch up, but otherwise here I am today, out for a walk in the sunshine. It’s well into autumn now in New Zealand but it’s warm enough, especially on a sunny day with wind from the right direction (i.e. not the south pole), that I took my long sleeve top off and walked in a tank top on this particular day.

It’s nice to get some vitamin D on at least one of my arms, since my other arm still has a compression sleeve on!

With my medication being changed from Letrozole to Tamoxifen due to my bones not being good enough to deal with Letrozole, I’ve had to start the whole ‘it takes a few months to get used to the changes’ all over again, and I really have felt so hormonal on Tamoxifen.

Overwhelmed and fed up, crying on Paul’s shoulder, being a bit of a biyatch to those closest to me… it’s all been a lot of fun let me tell you.

So instead of all that, let’s look at the other side of the coin, the bright side. What are all the good things I’ve enjoyed lately? Shall we focus on those while I wait for my lymphatic system to (hopefully) repair itself?

🫶 Paul and I went to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 last week, a mere one day after it was released. I enjoyed it but nothing replaces the original. Definitely worth watching and rewatching though. Milan was so gorgeous and the sumptuousness of the whole movie was gorgeous.

🫶 We got gluten-free fish and chips and ate them at the beach. I felt bad that the last time we’d been to the lovely fish and chip shop with the nicest owners was two years ago but you don’t want fish and chips too often, do you?

🫶 I am on book 3 of the Hideaway Bay trilogy that is so cozy, wholesome, gentle and lovely that I don’t want it to end. I’m listening to the audiobooks and they are beautifully narrated. Would recommend! (I bought them with Audible credits previously but I see now all three are in the Audible Plus catalogue so you can listen to them without using any credits).

Book 1 is The Secret Keeper, below, book 2 is The Game Changer, and book 3 which I only have 2.5 hours left on (so sad!) is called The Rule Breaker. These three books are already contenders to add to my favourite re-reads list. I’d love to get the paperbacks too or maybe just listen to the audiobooks again :)

 

I listened to the same author’s Blackbird Beach series a few years back and that’s still on Audible Plus too. I loved that series, but I love this current series more. It’s just so comforting to read. Her storylines draw you in and you want to see what happens next. I love happy books, and these also have a light sprinkle of mystery and suspense too. But they’re mostly calm and meandering :)

🫶 I’ve been enjoying my daily walks and weekly yoga, and getting into strength training too. Just at home, with squats and lunges, and some light arm work. Plus doing little things on my rebounder (one of those mini trampolines) which is good for my lymphatic system.

🫶 It’s cool enough to light our woodburner and we are having lovely fires each night. The doggies enjoy it so much and take turns sunbathing before they have to move away after getting too warm!

So that’s about all I’ve been up to: walking, reading, relaxing, and keeping day-to-day life sorted.

I went to a lovely Mother’s Day afternoon tea with my sister hosted at my mum’s yesterday, with aunties and cousins and close friends. It was a sociable way to spend a few hours.

I hope you’re well too, big hugs :)

x Fiona

 

[My Amazon links are affiliate, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase using these links. It’s no extra cost to you, so I really appreciate it if you choose to use my links for any Amazon purchases you might be making!] 

I am radiant! Finishing up my week of radiation :)

Hi everyone,

Another little update in my breast cancer journey! I will get back to normal posts, but right now I guess I’m on ‘sick leave’ :) Last week I had my radiation treatment. Paul and I travelled 2.5 hours to Palmerston North, where we stayed Monday to Friday, and I had a treatment each day. They are short appointments, but we don’t have the big fancy machine required in Hawke’s Bay.

I’ll show you further down in the post, but in my first photo above and below, Paul and I went to the pub! Tuesday was St Patrick’s Day, so to celebrate we went to a local Irish bar for a drink. I had a cider, but totally would have had a Kilkenny if I wasn’t celiac gluten-free. And Paul had a Guinness, of course!

 

 

 

It was nuts in there and it was only 4.30pm! We were like the sober parents watching on with amusement. When we left Paul said ‘I don’t think it’s a place for couples’, which is so true. Not the sort of place you would go to on a romantic date or for quiet conversation. We couldn’t even hear each other speak with the band playing.

But it was fun to go, and to have one for St Patrick’s Day. I am 12% Irish after all :) And I’d even brought along a green blouse for my trip too. I’d like to say that was intentional… but it was intentional that I wore it on Tuesday.

The rest of our week was far more relaxing and quiet. We stayed in a beautiful residence at Ozanam House, which is a huge facility set up for people receiving cancer care. It’s far nicer and more home-like than a hotel, and is completely free, funded by donations to the Cancer Society of New Zealand.

 

 

 

We stayed in a three-bedroom home on the site, but some are much bigger, with 11 and 19 bedrooms. Each room has an ensuite bathroom, and the kitchen, living area and laundry is shared. In the kitchen everyone has their own mini-fridge and cupboard. A housekeeper visits daily.

 

 

It was such a nice place to stay, and we were so grateful for it.

And shall I show you where I went each day? I was allowed to have some photos taken, because why not. We went to the morning tea at Ozanam House on Wednesday and one of the other ladies receiving treatment told me they’d taken a photo of her in the machine, and I thought, ‘I want a photo in the machine too!’

 

 

 

 

It’s a very impressive machine. I did some geeky researching and one of these costs about $3-$5 million US, and you also need to build a reinforced concrete room to house it, which is another couple of million. The walls have to be 1-3 metres/yards thick to keep all the beams contained so that no-one is affected outside the room, especially the staff who are there all the time.

Apparently it’s similar rays to an X-ray, but while X-rays are thousands of rays delivered for fractions of a second, Radiation beams are millions of rays for fractions of a minute. Let that sink in! With my cancer being on the left side, I had to take deep breaths and hold them for up to 20 seconds to protect my lung and heart. I know, scary, but the machine has millimetre accuracy and so even a deep breath can move the area to be radiated safely away from vital organs.

Of course, I had surgery before this and am cancer-free now so this is all preventative, to zap tiny cancer cells that still might be floating around my breast. I feel lucky that I only had to have one week in total. Many others have four weeks of treatment, and some up to 5, 6 or 7 weeks, five times a week, Monday to Friday.

So yes, it was a big week, even if ‘only’ one.

And I took a video walking in (the radiation oncology therapist let me). Let’s go through the double doors first, with the scary nuclear symbol on it…

 

 

 

I went through the left door to Rehua, which is my machine’s name. Cute! All four machines have Maori names. And here we go :)

 

 

 

I took the video on my last day, and Paul was allowed to come in to take a look at the machine too. He left the room before we started :) I love the ‘Beam on - ionising radiation’ red sign, like something out of a movie!

Each appointment was only half an hour out of our day, so for the three days in the middle of the week when we weren’t travelling to and from Palmerston North we looked around, went for a drive out of town one of the days, and rested ‘at home’ on the others.

I found a completely gluten-free cafe called Munch which did breakfasts and lunches and we went there three times. It was so delicious! And a real find for someone celiac like myself. Would recommend!

 

 

 

I did some lovely shopping too, the floral trousers already pictured, and a pair of black pleather trousers for winter, from a favourite shop called Blue Illusion (an Australian brand which has a store in Palmerston North), and a pair of knit shoes a bit like Vivaia or Rothys, neither of which we can get here. These ones are by a brand called Los Cabos. They are pictured with my relaxing satin trousers so they don’t really go! But I haven’t worn them properly yet :) 

 

 

 

 

So that was my radiation week! I’m glad to have it behind me, and fingers crossed plus touch wood that’s all the big things done. Now I can just settle in and keep healing, and taking my five-year Letrozole hormone therapy pill each night. While I was in Palmerston North walking to the hospital each day (Ozanam House is close), I decided that the radiation treatment was making me radiant from the inside out, and that all my cells would be enhanced. I am now a new person, haha! Fresh and revitalised :)

It’s nice to be back into my normal routine at home, even if I still have medical appointments - three this week alone! I’m enjoying writing too, reading lots, and spending time with our three doggies and cat. They all missed us! The doggies stayed with my mum, and our lovely neighbour Barry visited Nina cat each day twice a day for meals and sent cute photos and texts ‘from’ Nina’. Adorable :) He was late leaving work one day and didn’t get to our place until 6.30pm. He told me Nina was waiting in the kitchen just about tapping her watch!

I hope you’re doing well too, I know it’s a scary time in the world at the moment, and petrol is crazy. But we all just have to keep on keeping on.

Big hugs to you, Fiona x

Positivity and looking ahead

 

Hello everyone! Daphne and I are outside enjoying a coffee on this late summer day. It's starting to feel a little like autumn.

And I am feeling so much better! Officially past the eight weeks post-surgery mark and the infection is gone too. I'm still taking it easy but it's so nice to feel a little bit more normal.

Soon I’m travelling to Palmerston North, which is a couple of hours drive, to attend a planning meeting for my radiotherapy. And then not long after that I will be booked in for a week’s worth of treatment.

I’m grateful that all my other treatment, surgery etc has been local, but we don’t have a radiation department here in Hawke’s Bay.

And after that I should be finished up with all the big stuff, just my five-year Letrozole medication to take. I’m sure it will fly by. The years do now 😊

I had my hair trimmed too. When I thought I was going to have to have chemo and lose my hair I thought it would be nice to try a bob before that happened.

Once I found out I didn't have to have chemo I still decided to give it a go so now I have a long bob. There is only a little bit of colour right on the tips so most of the colour is mine now.

My greys provide natural highlights in my beige blonde, yay! It's so lovely and healthy compared with the coloured hair too, and I can wear it wavy/curly if I air dry it.

I’m pleased to say I have been feeling a bit more creative too. I still get tired easily but I can feel the excitement for my writing coming back.

I always have multiple books on the go, but I’m writing about my breast cancer experience currently, and will be covering three broad areas:

1. My journey with breast cancer
2. Helpful tips if you are going through a tough time health-wise too
3. Encouragement and support for those who have a loved one with a health challenge

So hopefully it will be an uplifting read for anyone, really. It won’t be doom and gloom but it will be ‘real’.

And, I think useful for anyone facing a health crisis, because I knew nothing about anything before I was diagnosed and now I reckon I could be a health professional I’ve learned so much over the past four months! 🤣

Hugs to you!
xx Fiona

Sunny days ahead (after the clouds have passed)

{Beautiful flowers from my lovely neighbour Anna ❤️ I love dahlias!}

 

Hello friends 😊

Every week is a new chapter around here, I tell you.

A few days after my previous post my left underarm (the biopsy side) became very sore and swollen and I thought I’d overdone my lymphatic arm exercises.

Then I noticed the skin becoming pink, then red, and the breast cancer specialist physio I had an appointment with that day said I needed to see a doctor for antibiotics NOW.

I started the medicine straight away but it stayed terrible, so painful! On Saturday morning Paul took me to the Emergency Department at our local hospital and they admitted me, saying I’d likely have to have surgery for an ‘infected seroma’ which is ‘serious but not uncommon’ after biopsy surgery.

Thankfully I did not end up having surgery, instead having a needle aspiration with a L O N G needle (thank goodness for lots of local anaesthetic and a very skilled radiology doctor). Plus IV antibiotics and strong pain meds.

They were happy to let me go yesterday and it was so nice to come home and see the doggies and Ninacat.

And yes I do see the irony: I spent twice the amount of time in hospital for this infection than for my original breast cancer surgery!

:: PRIVATE INSTAGRAM ::

As if that wasn’t enough, I’ve had some kind of bot attack on my Instagram account, and my followers have increased by over 2,000 in the last week or so, with a ton of silly bot comments.

There is no other way to deal with them than to delete each account individually 😢 And if I don’t, Instagram might think I’ve bought followers and delete my account.

So I’ve had to temporarily make my Instagram account private (to stem the flow, haha) while I tidy up this crazy mess.

If the worst happens and my account is deleted, you can find all my links at fionaferris.com

Go find me there now and bookmark it just in case you lose me on IG😮

So yes, it’s been quite the drama-filled week or two. Onwards and upwards though, and I’m SO happy to be back at home and on the mend.

I hope you had a calmer week than I did, and all my best to you!

x Fiona

Personal style as a tool to feel better

 

Hello friends,

Here I am heading out for family dinner at my aunty’s place ❤️💙

I love red with blue denim! Although it was so rainy and chilly - NOT like summer at all - that I got to wear my new burgundy/plum/oxblood ankle boots earlier than planned.

I have been stalking these boots since I saw them at the end of last winter and got them on sale after Christmas (recuperating at home by online shopping 🤣) and now have them ready for my autumn wardrobe.

I felt like journalling about a capsule wardrobe this morning and then was inspired to create a summer capsule, 21 pieces as per chapter 5 of my book 'The Chic Closet'.

I decided on a blue and white theme incorporating denim and navy, and then added a touch of sand/gold/beach to warm things up.

I came out with a good selection of jeans, tops/blouses, trousers and dresses, and ended up at 27 pieces which I am happy with. I have a good selection to choose from and am excited to get to wear my 'new' capsule collection even though I didn't buy anything. It feels new to me!

And in other news, I am getting back to myself. Still moving very slowly, not driving for a bit, maybe for another week or two. I am the diva passenger being chauffeured around 😊 Paul mostly takes me places and my mum has too.

I thought it was funny, my 78-year-old mother driving me to the library instead of the other way around. I often see older ladies being walked around the supermarket with one of their children helping them get their groceries. Instead it’s me getting the help 😊

And I meet with the oncology doctor next Tuesday to discuss chemo. It’s all so surreal! Like I’m watching this happen to someone else. Perhaps it’s healthy to have a sense of detachment and unreality…

In any case, I just have to keep telling myself it’s all preventative, the cancer is gone now. And if I have to grow some new hair it’s a small price to pay for future safety.

Thank you again for the continuing emails and messages, I truly appreciate them.

xx Fiona

PS. ‘The Chic Closet’ on Kindle, in paperback, and audiobook too here at my Amazon affiliate link here. 
 

 

Rest and recovery - apparently it's necessary :)

 

Hello friends :)

Popping in for a little update! It’s now 2.5 weeks since my surgery, and I have to be honest, it’s harder than I thought it would be.

I expected to be feeling back to normal by now, but I’m not. Every day is hard. Sometimes hard-hard and sometimes easy-hard.

I’ve had setbacks such as a big bleed while Paul was at work last week, and the pain has been okay some days and quite uncomfortable on others.

So yeah, not the cheeriest of posts, but it is what it is. I’m learning to be patient, go with it, rest a lot and just... wait.

My dad always said never to wish my life away so I’m trying not to!

This is a really important time for anyone who has had surgery, the healing time, so I need to remember that and not conveniently forget and think I’m okay to drive (that was a mistake), or go for a walk around the park (also not good).

Even though I am a relaxed and calm person (or I try to be), I am also someone who is always on the go, so it feels strange to do... nothing.

But nothing is what I must do, along with hydrate, get good nutrition, and move a little sometimes (I’m still walking laps of our house multiple times a day). 

 

 

 

I know this too shall pass, like any difficult time, and by not fighting it now, I will make it easier for myself later on. Because that’s what I was doing in my mind, fighting what is, and it got me nowhere.

I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but that’s the energy I was giving.

So now is for healing and resting. Looking after myself and not trying to be a hero.

I meet with my surgeon next Tuesday for lab results. Let’s hope everything is good and clear.

If you are going through a hard time right now, whatever the flavour, I feel for you. It’s not an easy thing to. And the future uncertainty is also a factor that plays on your mind.

All we can do is make the best of this day and treat ourselves well, which probably applies to anyone, because life is not exactly easy these days!

But I also know when I choose to wallow in the yuck, it just brings me further down. And when I choose to think of the good stuff and make fun plans, that feels much better.

Hugs to you!

x Fiona

PS. This book was wonderful. So heartwarming and funny. Here on Amazon. 

 

 

 

(My link is ‘Amazon affiliate’ which doesn’t change the price, but I may receive a small compensation. If you choose to use my links for any purchases you might be making I am grateful :)